Pussay POWER!

Happy Hump Day, folks!
We're half-way through the work week and guess what...?!?!?!?!!!
I HUMPED!!!!!!
**feels mascara melting down my cheeks, drowns in balloons, tinsel and confetti**
Yay me!!!
But more importantly: YAY, PUSSY!!!!!!! **slaps her 2**

*****

Each and every time I invite someone to my "Lap Luau" I hear the same "Coochie Compliments" over and over again...and a girl can't help but blush. I mean, it's not like there's a 24 Hour "Fitness" for the "peesh." But for some reason (Praises BE!) my ish is in TIP TOP SHAPE!

So, I asked my TWITches from Twitter what Coochie Compliments they get on the reg'la. Here's what a few of them offered up about what THEIR "Pushermen" had to say about their "girlfriends:"

Pretty, tight, & just riiiiiiiiight!! ~cristalbubblin

My bf is constantly saying: "How did you make it squeeze my dick like that?..." ~datGooD_ish

How about, "It's FAT!" LOL! Guys love that and IDK why! ~JazzeeJEF

I'm constantly complimented on tightness and muscle control. I'm asked if it has Tylenol PM in it cuz we make um drowsy! Lol ~MayMay81

I think the nicest compliment I've had was: "You make me feel like a virgin all over again!" After they come outta the coma that my cooch leaves them in, I don't understand stutterin' too much! I need to learn different languages! ~Jhazzai

Best compliment I get is when my dude in NY buys same day tickets 2 get it =) ~CathrynMarie

"I'd get a job for you" LMAO!!!! ~THEflyGIRL

Well, what do they say about YOU, La S A V V'iente?center>

Yup. Like THAT. ;^p

So, besides the text on the pic **takes a bow**, these are the Top 3 Coochie Kudos I've heard time and time again from a diverse group of dick dealers:

"Daaayyyuuum, this shit is JUICY!"

"Oooh! This shit is TIGHT!"

"Damn, that pussy feels so goooooodddd! What you got up in there?"

"Oooohhh!!! SUCK THE SKIN OFF THAT DICK, BITCH!

Ladies: What Coochie Compliments does your "girlfriend" receive from your dick dealers?

While I Was Out

Happy Hump Day, ninjas and beaches!!!!!
I know, I know. It's been a looonnnngg time. I shouldn'tna left you/Without a fat blog to get fresh to.

So...follow me through the Tunnel of Some of My Favorite Shit that transpired while yours truly was on a self-pity tour with a case of the "I-Really-Miss-That-Tiny-Dicked-Bastard, Fuck-That Insecure-Azz-Big-Tall-Giant-With-A-Small-Penis-Geeky-Bitch-Nigga, and Yeah-I'd-Take-It-From-The-Late-Night-Secret-Straight-To-Here's-My-Heart-Gon'-'Head-And-Keep-Its" regarding the ninjas in my life.
(Sometimes I turn into a Double-X Chromosome...and I don't like it. So excuse the past week's Bitchassness.)
I luhh you, too.

*******

Star Jones decided the time had expired on her signature, 'tato-skin-going-down-the-garbage-disposal look on the red carpet at the Opening Night Reception of the 2008 Clinton Global Initiative.




















T.I. was in New York rocking hot spot, Marquee, while simultaneously turning my pannays into a quart of milk with that, "I'll-FUCK-yo-cookaze!" look in his eyes.
**massages panties**


















Ne-Yo's nose reeeeaaallllyyyy liked the smell of his trouth-mouf azz lips while stuntin' on the red carpet at Jermaine Smurfpri's 36th bday bash held at Tenjune in the NYC.




















Running folks over musta been a good look cuz "Gary Coleman" sho' dun' grew!!




















Kim Kardashian still has a First Class seat on the SavvyFatty Tongue Express.
And...NO! NOT for barely shaking all that ravishing rump on "Dancing With The Stars."
It's cuz of how I enjoy this illicit display of Obese Munk as she exits the "Dancing" rehearsal studios.


















Captain Obvious did a drive-by pixie-dusting on American Idol's Strawberry Shortcake, Clay Aiken.

What have YOOOUUUU, my loyal SavvyFat'lien, been up to in the past week?

Work-Friendly "PONE"

Y'all want this Hump Day started RIIIIGGHHHTTTTT?!?!?!!

**Homegirl on the harmonica and baby on the turntables get MYYYYY vote!

HAUTE as HELL!

Maaaannnn!!
**wipes neck roll sweat**

Ask any ninja in Sunny Southern Cali, San Diego County (WHOOP! WHOOP!) to be exact, if they peeped the Devil swimming at Mission Beach in some cutoff Dickies and a 'Thug Life' tattoo today.
10 times outta 10 you're gonna see a ninja in a tight neck Pro-Club, throwing up this set talkin' 'bout: "HELL YEAH WE BEED DAT NIGGA, BLUUUHHHDDD!"


So, in honor of the sun and Santa Ana winds actin' mad IG'NIT to the point where my Pro-Styl has dayum near thrown the towel in because it's 97 dayum degrees at 4:45 in the afternoon, I'm showing up to work today looking like a sexy baked "batayduh" in my hot! ninjette neutrals. I'm lookin' like I'm on a sexy, supple safari, no?

What's the weather like in YOUR neck of the woods?
More importantly: WHAT ARE YOOOOUUUU WEARING?

OBC: NINJETTE, PLEASE!

I mean, yeah. It's been no secret that La Savviente has been known to appreciate a sexxxay lady...or 9 **winks at ALL'luh'mm; licks my lips; rocks my hips**, in my day.
**reminisces while getting out calendar of this afternoon**

But this shit right HERE, ninja...**tastes the bile'y yummyness of vomit**


Ladies and gentlemen: I present to thee, our homegeisha, our personal kid karate, SHORTYPERS, from the illustrious OBC:

I have a few questions for our Dental Superstar before she finishes rubbing that hamburger's paper across her grill.

1) You look Asian. Ya teef look European. British, to be exact. In what country did you first rest ya naps?

2) But in what country is it accepted, as well as customary, to walk around with teeth looking like Academy Awards statuettes?

2) Do you think your teeth should be treated as biscuits?

3) If not, why are yours so buttery?

4) If so, don't you know all that cholesterol will kill ya?

WHO WANTS THIS HOT BUTTER ON THEIR POP-D-POP-D-POP-CONE?!?!?!!!!!