PubeTube

Whoopi Goldberg hosted a special segment of 'The View' inside model Tyson Beckford's---

NO?!!!

WHAT!!!!!!

Then...What in Flaw'duh Evans, Nappy Dugout-type FUCK SHIT is this?!?!?!

• And why wasn't I invited?
  
• And why is homegirl just standing there instead of deep-D diving?
  
• And why did I forget that I think Tyson is a PooPoo Pirate?
  
• But, why would I try it anyway?
  
• Why can I picture Tyson, Puffy, and Bentley playing a nekkid, ghey game of Twister?
  
• But why would I try it anyway?

America's Next Top Bottom

Dayum, Jaslene: Where da fuck the paper at?!

Haha! I keeid! I KEEID!
That's NOT everybody's favorite Latina Goddess Bunny ANTM winner, Jaslene Gonzalez. But dammit if it don't look like her azz once those Top Model Pesos stop rolling in and she gotta start slaingin' azz...domestic skills.

The new cycle of Top Model begins tonight on the CW with a 2-hour premiere!!
And just like the 23 year old I was when the show first began, I'm IG-CY-TID!!
I don't know what it is about watching girls getting all nekkid and pretty'd up (<<<---Ok, maybe I DO know!), but I just can't stop watching. Even in the slim times of the last 4 or 5 cycles, I've still been a faithful viewer.
I just love to see the girls transform from reg'la, oftentimes, downright HOMELY azz hoes, to gracefully beautiful swans. Does the name 'Shandi' ring a bell?!?!! Anyone remember a midwestern bisexual wrestler by the name of Michelle from Cycle 4?! Ok, then.


Sidenote: Isn't Blayne of this season's Project Runway gettin' his male, heroine-geek version of Lisa from ANTM Cycle 5 "owwwnnnn?"


*******Anywhooo...the big "to-do" (Yes, I know the 50's called and want their term back) about this season's ANTM is that there will be a big ol' tranny on the show.

Isis, a 22 year old transgendered, self-proclaimed "woman born physically male" hailing from Maryland, is the first transgender contestant in the history of the show.

I don't know if the nig-biatch is on hormones or what, but he-she looks all woman to me! And I don't have nann problem with a lil' frank and beans err'now and then, either...just as long as I don't see any bikini bottom man-mel toes or industrial-strength duct-tape hiding the "merch," then I'm gravy. You either come with your RuPaul tuck game...or don't come at all!!

But I cain't hate. Matter'fact, I just may shake my derriere in Dereons, snap for the kids, snap for the keeeiiiidddss! and exclaim, "GO'OWN, "GIRL!" right at the TV cuz I'm happy any time someone has the courage to step onto the World's stage and be themselves, no matter how "against the grain" it is.

Cycle 11 of America's Next Top Model premieres tonight on the CW at 8pm.

Jeez & Jizz

Young Jeezy, aka Bowling Ball Head Sims, stopped by the TRL studios to rob the place promote his latest project, The Recession. Although I'm not a fan of Conehead Jenkins and his affinity for rhyming a word with itself, I will say I luuuhhhh me some "Put On." Mainly because of the way Kanye spit that ghetto gospel on his verse. Or how Jeez likened the "fresh" of his car to tartar sauce and fish sticks. **rubbing tummy and licking lips as I "Trust the Gorton's Fisherman!"** Good one, Jeez!

The Recession is in stores now...and on LimeWire like 50'leven weeks ago. Getcho copay!

Donnie Klang (ICK! Hate.That.NAME! All it makes me think of this...which does NOTHING for the fact that I think Puffy is a PooPoo Pirate that likes to recruit existing or potential PooPoo Pirates.) was also in the buil'in to promote the fact that he's sounding like an anally-raped-at-a-hot-dog-stand version of Justin Timberlake with his single, "Take You There."

One positive about his appearance is that he got rid of that N'Sync, Backdoor Boys hair cut and color that was HOT! back in late 199Too Long Ago to be Rockin' That Shit in the New Millenium.

I'm SOOOOO glad that Long Island Lolito haircut is buried somewhere under the Long Island Expressway. Before, I didn't know whether to get a scoop of it...or jizz on it. (again.) This new 'do is mosdef and Upgrade!

And although he's rockin' that Fresh-Off-A-Tour-In-Iraq 'do and an early 80's Michael Jackson doll's 'fit, he's lookin' aw'ight. I just might uncover my ears long enough to actually listen to his single while buying earrings at The Icing.

Bristol Palin's Pussy Pumper

(above) Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin's high school sweetheart and the reported father of her unborn baby.
(below) The Palin Family; Bristol on the far right.

I wouldn't let this jheri-curled, mophead, dead-eyed fool near my poosay...but apparently Bristol Palin did. And now plans to World-of-Curls his 'fro for the "rest" of her life.

More...

Happy Labor Day!

No, not you, my loyal SavvyFatty folks, but:

You!
"Juneau's Juno!"Bristol Palin
17-year old daughter of Alaska Governor and the GOP's Vice Presidental pick, Sarah Palin
And no, not this week's federal holiday that got my Venezias fitting like a second, thick, denim skin after eating far too much "poak" and "tayduh salad" while imbibing mixed drainks involving champagne, wine, and Cherry Tampico, (<<--Class, at its finest) but an ACTUAL labor day. April 18th of this year, to be exact.
Don't know what the HAIL I'm talking about?!
Follow me, nah!!
WAIT!
You can't...since for some odd, type-jainky "I SMELL A COVER-UP" reason, the Daily KOS story that was posted about the Desperate Housewives-"Bree Van De Kamp"-type situation involving Sarah Palin and her teen daughter has mysteriously disappeared!

But the long of the short is:
It's believed that Sarah Palin did not give birth to her fifth child, Trig Paxson Van Palin, who was born this past Spring with Down Syndrome. Instead her teen daughter, Bristol, reportedly secretly birthed the child and turned custody over to her parents to hide her transgression.
Read more here...

But now, since Gov. Palin and her pals are so Pro-Choice and Anti-Birth Control, Lil' Miss Premarital Pussy Pumpstress, has turned up knocked up AGAIN!
However this time, with the Senior Ms. Palin in the national spotlight, this pregnancy cannot be hidden or covered up with Baby Trig and his blankie.


*******
My opinion, in short:THIS is exactly what happens when you refuse to talk to your children about birth control. And when you sit so high on your Conservative High Horse thinking that it's impossible to even fathom that your child may slip up and get knocked up.

NEWSFLASH to parents with teenagers:Your son's dick will harden and your daughter's pussy will moisten and at some point it will find something to get into...or something to get into it. PLAIN and SIMPLE!
Believe me: I know!
Many moon'leniums ago, I was a teen with working parents, a lot of free time, and a bus pass that could take me to any one of my ex's homes at any given time of day or evening. I remember being HOT AS FUCK for my high school sweetheart(s) and rising EARLY in the morn to ride the bus across Southeast to see them and staying up late on the phone describing in GRAPHIC detail** what I was going to do to them the next time I saw them. (** And I always kept my promise...right, TAL and SLB?! HAHA!)

But real talk: Having a sex and/or birth control convo with your child has never decreased nor enhanced their desire to screw.
We're biologically designed to be attracted to the opposite sex. (Well, some of us. **side-eyes Puff and the rest of the Hip Hop Closet**) But there's nothing unnatural about the urge to fuck. It's in us all. The best thing a parent can do is equip their children, especially their teen girls, with the tools necessary to prevent an early or unwanted pregnancy.

The Palins went wrong by trying to hide Bristol's pregnancy; especially when trying to pass an obviously-unpregnant Gov. Palin off as being with child.Gov. Palin, right, pictured in her 3rd trimester while pregnant with her first first baby in 1989


Then, in her 3rd trimester with Baby Trig in early 2008
This cover-up and subsequent scandal could have easily been avoided with just a teeny-tiny ounce of what I like to call "Truth." Instead of being anti-birth control, they should have been Pro-Sex Ed. They should have discussed the consequences of unprotected sex as well as the consequences of getting preggo while Mommy is trying to be the Republican Hilly C. And since that NEVER happened, they are about to be grandparents for the second time...under the scrutiny of the entire country.

What the Right-Wingers refuse to realize while on their Moral High Horses is that there's not ONE family in this wide world that has not been affected by a teenage pregnancy and that being a teen parent does NOT mean you or your child are destined to not be be shit.
Hell, I'm a product of a couple of horny high schoolers, as are many of my friends, co-workers, aunts, uncles, great grandparents, cousins, etc.
Yes, I bring home a can of Tab and a Homies figurine every 2 weeks, but I think I'm doing pretty well, despite my humble, and oft-thought "shameful" beginnings. Yes! It is embarassing to have a pregnant child, especially when you've done everything in your power to raise that child "right." But like your ass after eating anything off a Taco Bell menu: SHIT HAPPENS!
The Palins could not control Bristol's actions, but they COULD HAVE controlled their reaction to her sitaution. And a cover-up was NOT the correct, MORAL thing to do which is why this situation brings about many questions regarding Sarah Palin's morals, especially since she's up for a position which would make her the second most powerful person in the WORLD.
As a person who could possibly (but HOPEFULLY NOT!) become her constituent, I needz to know:

• If you'll lie to the public about something as simple as a teenage pregnancy, what ELSE will you lie about?
  AND
• If you cannot keep your own daughter's legs closed, how can you help our daughters to remain chaste?

I've shared my views.
What are your thoughts and opinions on the Palin Pregnancy(ies)?