American Idol: The Good, The Bad, and the WUT DEE BLUDCLOT?!!!

Honestly, I don't watch AI. I ain't watched it since Fantasia won and broke her shoe singing "A Moment Like This" or whatever hokey crap they make the winners sing so they're "digestable" to the American public. (Read that as: Middle and Southern WHITE America)

But I peeped these pics online this morning and HAAADDD to share. I mean, what kinda SavvyFatty would I be if I didn't?

Before you read below, please note: I'm AALLLLL for individuality as I'm the girl who wraps scarves, Skateboard P and Kanye West-style, around my non-existent neck so I can look like a bad azzz.
HOWEVER...I need some 'splanations about what's going on hea!


AI Hopeful Danny Noriega

Just me...or does this dude look like what would happen if Sanjaya and Pee Wee Herman busted on a No. 2 pencil?



AI Hopeful Chikezie Eze
(See how all the other pics are huge and clear? But the BLACK MAN's pic is tiny and pixelated. See how they do my pee-po? It's just THE MAN tryna keep us down. It's a C-O-N-SPIRACY! LOL!)

Am I the only one getting the sudden urge to makeout in my uncle's basement? TELL ME this suit doesn't remind you of the itchy fabric of a 70s rumpus room couch, the one where you busted your first ounce of puppy water into your UnderRoos. Something about this suit and its color makes me want to shaaaaagggg. That or eat a whole bag of Cheetos Puffs while blazin' with with Chester Cheetah. YEAH BABY!




AI Hopeful Amanda Overmeyer

What in the Cruella De Vil, Phyllis Diller fuck?




AI Hopeful Ramiele Malubay

Ahhh!!! Finally some hotness! Babygirl is rockin da SHIIIT out of that asymmetrical cut. Don't trip if you peep me on the streets with my Eve MicroYaky #1 cut up and glued in that style. Me likey! Babygirl got some pretty lips, too. (Cain't compete with my babydoll Miley Cyrus...but that's neither here nor there) Don't know if I'm feeling the Chillin' in the Food Court after hitting up the sale at The Icing 'fit, but she's still cute. I'd hit it!