Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Craigslist Craziness!

I {Heart} Craigslist, mayne!

What other website exists where you can get free shit, buy a house, car, furniture, airline tickets, concert tickets, learn a new skill, get a job, get a BLOW job, PIMP yaself, and most importantly: FREE PORNO?!?!?!?! **drooling as hand slips below the belly button equator while scrolling through the M4M section**
Iff'in' there is another site, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT! Or want to know! I'm faithful to my Craig cuz he's aaaallllll I need to get byyyyy-iiiiii...or evenn HIIIIIGGHHH! (<--YES! Fa REAL!)

Anywhoo...on a daily basis, even though my wallet and budget are in side-by-side rooms in the ICU right now, I browse Craigslist's furniture section. I furnished 97% of the ish in my new lil' place (that was found on Craigslist!) with the help of "Cregggg." (Said like the chickenhead, hoochie mama offa Friday)

Off-White clean, modern lines, vintage couch for $100: CRAIG
Full-size mattress with boxspring and frame for $50: CRAIG
Birch 6-drawer dresser with silver pulls for $45: CRAIG
White computer Desk for $30: CRAIG
A ninja and beach to tag team me and give me head till I'm dead, hoe for FREE: CRAAAIGG!
(**wank, wank**)

Everything that I've purchased has been pure QUALITY, too. I don't buy ISH without looking at a pic first. Even though there's a lot of honest people with nice things just looking to get rid of stuff and help someone with anorexic pockets out, there's also a lot of people trying to make money to keep the bong going for the weekend.

Like the muhfucka who posted THIS ad:
Love Seat (VERY NICE) - $40
Reply to:
sale-600658860@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-03-09, 12:09PM PDT
This is a beautiful couch with a blended weave fabric. Goes with everthing! Still looks very new! Asking $40/obo. Wont last long at this price! Call me at (858)###-#### Thanks for stopping by!

"Beautiful?!!?" Fa REAL!?!?! Beautiful as in Heidi Klum-beautiful...or beautiful as in "We are ALL Beautiful in God's Eyes" aka Seal-beautiful?
"Goes with 'everything?!?!?!'" Sure! 'Everything' like the backdrop of your 1986 weekend nightmare of being left alone with your uncle Butchie with the twitching eye and wandering hand!
"Still looks very new?!" Of course!! Like John McCain and Elizabeth Taylor New!
"Won't last long at this price?" DAMN RIGHT! Cuz once the water has evaporated outta the bong, these bozos will realize ain't noooooobody buying a couch that was poppin' in the days of Amazing Stories, Small Wonder, Kids Incorporated and Puttin' on the Hits!


msfre said...


kimmysan said...

Oh yeah, I'm ALLLLL about the free porn on Craig...that's my ninja!