And if you DON'T know...now you KNOW, ninja!
1. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as?
Ya daddy's taco meat. Cuz I be on his chest just as much.
2. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger?
Another burger. I'm fat and greedy like that.
3. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?
Not a gatdayumed thang. I'll let my choking hands do all the talkin'.
4. It's your first day of vacation, what are you doing?
Hoppin' on an aeroplane on a quest for fun times. And by fun times I mean some Vacation D.
5. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies?
Nuthin cuz anybody who knows me knows I'm walkin' in with a purse FULL: styrofoam fulla Chinese and/or Mexican food and a gang of Wal-Meezy candy. I don't need their stinkin' $12 nachos, beeyatch!
6. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email?
Pop-Up Ads. Anything with the word 'Spam' in it is DELECTABLE to me!! Now if they changed the name to "Pop-Tarts Ads" then that would be a difficult decision...
7. What do you think Captain Hook's name was before he had a hook for a hand?
Captain Dick. I heard stories that he had the ocean bitches goin' NUTS!
8. Rock, paper, or scissors?
I'll take a rock. It's kinda hard to bash out windows with paper or scissors. And for those who spent early, early Sunday morning with me, you know how I do...
9. How long was it from 'the first date' until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding?
Ninja POLICE!! I'm still sittin' here lonely watchin' RedTube videos with my homey by my side.
10. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?
Being alive period right now. My car ain't workin'. I got 7 cents and a package of Pop Rocks in the bank. I lost my baby and 'bout to lose my mind.
11. What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?
Honesty! And/or someone down for MaryJ screwin'.
12. At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?
13. What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?
The Douchebags who migrate here and try to act so high emm'effin' class down in the Gaslamp when they know just 6 months before they were shovelin' shit in Podunk, Wyoming.
14. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?
15. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test?
Just 1. 'Twas just anutha day in the life of a gatdayumed BAWSE!
16. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose?
17. What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life?
Ooh, that's hard. But if I had to choose: Your moms.
18. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second?
As broke as I am right now, I'mma take a hammer to the temple of the muhfucka offerin' both the envelopes. I'z BROKE! I ain't got time for games, homay!
19. If you had to choose, which would you give up: cable TV, or DSL/cable internet?
I'd give up TV. Cuz ain't nuthin' like RedTube or X-Tube on TV FOR FREE right now.
20. What is your highest level of education?
I'm still pursuing a Masters of Strugglization from The School of Hard Knocks.
21. How much is a gallon of gas in your city? What was the highest it's been?
TOO.GAT.DAYUMED.MUCH! The highest it's been: A.GAT.DAYUMED.SHAME!
22. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid?
Sesame Street and The Little Mermaid. You can kick me now!
23. What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?
A housekeeper. Don't got kids, don't take shit to make Top Ramen Souffle, and I can ride ya daddy around; why would I need a chauffeur?
24. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic?
Stuck in traffic. At least I could listen to the kind of shit I want to instead of a ghey azz version of "Caribbean Queen."
25. Lets say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what is your 'cleaned up' swear word?