Getting to know ME...

Good morning, my loyal Savvy Fatty readers! It's a GLORIOUS (Yes! WONDROUSLY GLORIOUS!) Monday morning and my mind is oh so consumed with butterflies, rainbows, Lisa Frank school supplies, Calla lilies, Frye Boots, a Kooba purse, and a gift certificate to http://fashionoverdose.com/ to think of a topic to write about.
"Why?" you ask?!?!?! Well...The man that I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE so much spent the WHOLE weekend with me...uninterrupted by impromptu conference or family calls. It was just me and him and an endless supply of baked macaroni and wine. Ahhh...LOVE! So MANY people use your name in vain!

So...since I'm in such an amorous haze while puffy hearts and silver glittery stars are shooting from my every orifice, this survey will suffice for a topic and/or news, riiiiggghhhttt?!?!?!?!!!

RIGHT!
So...get to know something about the fat girl's FAAAVVORITE fat girl!

1. Have you ever made out with someone you weren't dating?
Ummmm...Isn't that what being a 20-something is AAALLL about?!??!

2. Is there a difference between the word 'best friend' and 'friend'?
Dayum right! BEST friends are for jr. high school girls wanting to pass notes back and forth in class and say stupid shit like "BFFs FOREVER!" Friends are there to remind you to protect yourself when you've decided to leave the club with that tall dark and handsome something who was bumping and grinding on you all night long!

3. Have any of your guy friends ever admitted to liking you?
Yup. They'd be fools NOT TO! Look at all this juicy deliciousness!

4. Do you miss anyone?
Yes and no. Yes, however he's marrying that OTHER bitch. (ick!) And NO because he just left me little piece of ghetto heaven a couple hours ago. (Yeah, I'm talking 2 DIFFERENT "He's" AND?!?!?!!!)

5. Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone?
Yes. It was right now...and now...and especially NOW!

6. Who's the last person of the opposite sex that gave you a hug?
My baby DP2

7. Who is your celebrity crush?
OPRAH! **heart pounding 1 billion miles per hour** (<--that's one MPH for each of her dollars. JEAH!)

8. Can you touch your toes?
Damn right! The skrippa in me can do ANYTHING!

9. Do you know anybody who was abused?
Emotionally, yup. Bitches are weak!

11. Is silence really golden?
Damn right it is! But living under a family of 7 with a DOG and 50 million CONSTANTLY visiting relatives, I don't know what that is anymore!

13. Are you afraid to grow up?
No. Afraid to pay bills and be responsible for my actions: DAMN RIGHT!

15. Can you count past 100?
Don't think so, especially since my check is never past this amount.

16. What's up with the numbering of this survey.
Don't know. You tell me. You're the one who passed 4th grade, right?

18. If you had to marry someone on your top friends list on Myspace, who would it be? Xtina...cuz I heard she got good credit and I PERSONALLY know she got a FATTY! HAHAAHAHAAAA!!!!

19. Do you care what people think of you?
Sometimes, I do. I won't lie. I always want ya daddy to think I'm the HOTTEST biatch he can spend his Social Security check on!

20. Would you call yourself smart?
If I was smart I wouldn't be sitting at a job making a friendship bracelet and a subscription to Highlights magazine for a living.

21. Do you like to read?
Love it! Especially if it's a text message from ya daddy! Oooh, that man!! Ain't nothing like the smell of OLD SPICE on taco meat in the morning!!! LAAAWWDDD!

22. Do you own a pair of Nikes?
Sure don't! If they don't sell them in the bin at the 99 cents store, then they AIN'T for me!

23. Have you ever touched an elephant?
No, but your daddy has. **looking in his wallet at that pic of ya mama**

24. Plans for tomorrow?
Wake, dress, drive, work, drive, contemplate late-late-late-late term self-abortion, sleep.

25. Is anything wrong?
What is right?!?!!

26. Would you kiss anyone on your Myspace top friends list?
Already have. 2 of them...PASSIONATELY! Back of the head grabbin and all!

27. Do you want to go to college?
I want to go back eventually. Can't be a dumbass the REST of my life.

28. What are you listening too?
The sound of my boss typing a personal email when she thinks WE THINK she's working hard. BEEYATCH PUHLEEZ! Professional emails don't require FLASH and ducks hugging hearts-GIFs saying "You're the BESTEST!" Bitch! Don't ack!

29. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
Parents?!?!? What are those?!?!? Are those the people who'd lay 67 pennies on the counter and call it "lunch money?" IN THE 90s?!?!? When a bag of Hot Cheetos was 99cents!

30. What did you do for your birthday?
It's ALMOST my birthday!! So save your tax refunds and hook a fatty up!

31. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Getting the most wonderful sleep right next to my babe.

32. Name something you CANNOT wait for?
To jump start this music shit, SavvyFatty to pop off to the masses, and to buy a house!

33. What's your favorite season?
Onion Salt, duh!
**re-reading question while tryning NOT to be such a fat ass** Ohhh! I mean SUMMER!

35. Last thing you ate/drank?
Eat Drink Man Woman. Hahahahaa! Just kidding. A chicken tamale and a Nestle PureLife. Mmm! MMM! Good!