In honor of no news catching my eye enough to go through the motions of researching, finding pics, being a Witty Bitty AND posting coupled with the fact that my coworker decided to go home "sick" 34 minutes after her ass got here LATE in the first gatdayumed place so I gotta do HER work and mine (GRRR!!!), this is what you'll get for the day.
And you'll LOVE IT, DAMMIT!!!
Is your second toe longer than your first?
Actually, it is. It's also MUCH ashier, too. They both bathed at the same time and have been sitting in the same Payless Airwalk all day. Now how does THAT happen?! **perplexed face**
Do you have a favorite type of pen?
Yup, the one that writes phat checks from OTHER people's bank accounts, thank you vurry much!
Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?
Probably the same shit I did today. Got up, hating life, got dressed for a job that doesn't pay me nearly enough, texted your mom and dad to see what's poppin' with the Late Night Nutfest, worked, hated life, gave your parents the biz'nazz...Yeah. That's about it.
What color are your toenails usually?
Usually a nice fungally greenish brown, lookin' like a mini-brigade of No Limit Souljas. Thanks 1992 case of Cellulitis!!!!!
What was the last thing you highlighted?
Your mom's name and number on the bathroom wall. Why should "Wendy" get all the shine when "Mary" is just as good at what she does?
What color are your bedroom curtains?
Curtains?!?! PSSSH! Please! What you think this is? FUCKingham Palace? Do I look rich, muhfucka? I got a satin bed sheet up like, "Ninja WHAT!"
Have you ever had a black and white cat?
Yup. Mulatto meat is the BEST! Mmmm! **picking pube hair off tongue then licking lips**
Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
To get my babe some food even though NEITHER of us should be eating taco shop PERIOD...let alone after 10pm! Baddy Fatties!
What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
Same whip I'm pushing now: Honda Accord, Limited Edition! Complete with the burnt out carpet due to an unfortunate bleach and Windex spill.
**singin'** You will neva' find/(Blumm Blumm Blumm Blumm)/A to' back Honda like miiiine **tears**
Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
No wallpaper. Just paint in spider-carcass beige.
Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
I did, matter of fact. Shit tasted like NutriSweeted nut juice.
Last time you received flowers/flower?
Maybe last summer. Long stem white roses from my 3rd "husband" Isn't he sweet?! Sending flowers and ain't even SMELT the yannies! Now THAT'S a REEEAAAAALLL man. ;-)
Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman?
Not when I'm profiting. And by "profiting" I mean...
What is in your inbox at work?
Mostly emails from Camille, some from my babe, and then some shit I ignore and EXPEDITIOUSLY delete called "Work"
Last time you saw fireworks?
EACH and EVERY time your mom and dad blindfold and tag team me. Your parents ain't NOOOOO joke! OOOHHWEEE!!! Shouts to Harold and Marilyn!
Who is the last person that left you a message on your cell?
Your dad's OTHER mistress asking me for tips on how to make his tip drip. OH BOY!
Do you have a black dog?
I don't currently have one. But I've dated and screwed a few. I also like to call them "Black Bastards!"
Do you have any pickles in your fridge?
If'in I did, as horny as I've been, they'd find a new home in my "lap" if you know what I mean. **wank, wank**
Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
Sure do! If you were a teen in the 90s, STAND UP!
**singin'** And I hate EV-RY-THING about CHU! EV-RY-THING about CHU!
Do you have a little black dress?
NOTHING I have is little. Well, except one thing...and right now it's partaking in a pickle. **wank, wank**