Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I got the BLUES!

And no...I don't mean the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese blues either. Even though that does sound DE-LECT-ABLE...especially with a little sprinkle of parmesan and Louisiana hot sauce added over the top for a lil kick. Ooh! And some Bacon bits. OOHHH!!!...and some...HOLD UP!!!! **calming and quieting my inner AND outer fat kid so I can kindly go on with my morning without being charged with attempted murder for putting an eye out with the button from my jeans**

It's Tuesday...the day after a 3-day weekend. Like I said yesterday: SHOUTS to my brotha MLK!! For the civil rights AAAANNND the extended weekend. ;-)

However...with all of that comes a mild case of the "Returning to Work After a 3-day Weekend" Blues. Photobucket
Like I said, it's a mild strain, but it's taking its toll on ya girl nonetheless. I had the WORST time getting out of bed this morning. Probably because I wasn't in my own (**wink, wink** OOOHHH YEAH!! K-Ci! JoJo!!!!!!) and probably because I was MILES away from home with no flatiron, lip liner, lip gloss, bronzer...NOTHING! I was closer to work than I was to home, so I said SCREW IT! Why drive all the way home to drive all the way back this'a'way? EFF THESE FOLKS!!! If they don't like my 5th member of The Beatles bedhead look mixed with Mary's "Just Fine" hair, then SCREW EM!!! I don't come to work to be America's Next Top Fly Azz Co-worker! I come here to make just enough dough to afford HALF of a 25 cent box of Boston Baked Beans from the ice cream man every other week. That's MYYYYY motivation! EFF THE REST!

Ok...so I roll into work on TIME for a change. (One of the benefits of screwing someone who lives a mile away from the workplace! OWWWW!!!!)
Since I was not "up" yet, I snuck in the back door to avoid an unwanted and unnecessary convo with our building's security guard. He's the sweetest old man. (emphasis on "old." I swear I saw his yearbook and it was written in Photobucket, please believe it!) I don't mind talking to him...in the MIDDLE of the week. It's just some mornings, especially after the weekend and/or a holiday, I DO NOT feel like laying down the weekend's itinerary for him. Especially after the weeeknd I just had. Because...is there EVER an appropriate way to tell a 80+ year old man that you spent most of the weekend FAAAAAYYYY-DID and bent over a...SEE! Can't even tell you guys! So how could I relay that to my elder?!?!?!

So...I ducked in the back door. That way I can enter my office without having to pass the security desk. GREAT! Convo averted...right?!?!?!?

WRRRROOONNNNGG!!! Guess who was lurking in the space between the back hallway entrance and my office door?!?!?! DING! DING! DIIIIINNNGG!!! YES! Sir Talks Alot! EFFFFFFF!!!!
DAMMIT! We made eye contact so I haaaaad to speak. I said a quick good morning while still hightailing it towards my door, badge out in front of me to wave in front of the sensor as soon as I approached it in order to make a quick getaway.

Convo went like this:
Me: **half-spirited** GOOD MORNING!
STA: Hey, hun! Good morning! How are you this morning! How was your weekend?!!!!!!
Me: GREAT! **badge waved and accepted, door pushed open...SAFE!**

So...it wasn't TTTHHAAATTT bad. But I always feel guilty. Afterall, he did play on Moses's commandment throwing team. Photobucket He was right there with God offering up his opinion about how many days he should work on 'Project: Earth.' I mean...I'm just saying.

That's it! I'm SPENT! (No! Reeeeaaaaally this time! Told you where I was yesterday, last night aaaannnnd this morning.) Picture me 'afterglowin.' AAAAANNND picture me wantin to do it all over again! OOOWWWWW!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Where do you come up with this stuff?