America's Next Top Bottom

Dayum, Jaslene: Where da fuck the paper at?!

Haha! I keeid! I KEEID!
That's NOT everybody's favorite Latina Goddess Bunny ANTM winner, Jaslene Gonzalez. But dammit if it don't look like her azz once those Top Model Pesos stop rolling in and she gotta start slaingin' azz...domestic skills.

The new cycle of Top Model begins tonight on the CW with a 2-hour premiere!!
And just like the 23 year old I was when the show first began, I'm IG-CY-TID!!
I don't know what it is about watching girls getting all nekkid and pretty'd up (<<<---Ok, maybe I DO know!), but I just can't stop watching. Even in the slim times of the last 4 or 5 cycles, I've still been a faithful viewer.
I just love to see the girls transform from reg'la, oftentimes, downright HOMELY azz hoes, to gracefully beautiful swans. Does the name 'Shandi' ring a bell?!?!! Anyone remember a midwestern bisexual wrestler by the name of Michelle from Cycle 4?! Ok, then.


Sidenote: Isn't Blayne of this season's Project Runway gettin' his male, heroine-geek version of Lisa from ANTM Cycle 5 "owwwnnnn?"


*******Anywhooo...the big "to-do" (Yes, I know the 50's called and want their term back) about this season's ANTM is that there will be a big ol' tranny on the show.

Isis, a 22 year old transgendered, self-proclaimed "woman born physically male" hailing from Maryland, is the first transgender contestant in the history of the show.

I don't know if the nig-biatch is on hormones or what, but he-she looks all woman to me! And I don't have nann problem with a lil' frank and beans err'now and then, either...just as long as I don't see any bikini bottom man-mel toes or industrial-strength duct-tape hiding the "merch," then I'm gravy. You either come with your RuPaul tuck game...or don't come at all!!

But I cain't hate. Matter'fact, I just may shake my derriere in Dereons, snap for the kids, snap for the keeeiiiidddss! and exclaim, "GO'OWN, "GIRL!" right at the TV cuz I'm happy any time someone has the courage to step onto the World's stage and be themselves, no matter how "against the grain" it is.

Cycle 11 of America's Next Top Model premieres tonight on the CW at 8pm.