Hope everybody made it on the flipside of the weekend safely. Hope in 9 months we won't be havin' no showers for no SF'ers babies... :^p
The VMAs rolled back around this year, with a new host, Russell Brand. (Yeah, don't ask me!)
But, TrillVille: I haven't watched a VMAs from start to finish in YEARS. And, I really didn't start last night, either. But I did manage to leave the TV on MTV while I did other ish.
And, really, I only tuned in to see if the lovely lady(<<--no, fa real! No HeadShave!) below was gonna slap the taste outta muhfuckas mouths by giving the people a Classic Britney VMA performance after last year's "D'oh!" fest.
Although she didn't perform, she still redeemed herself in part.
So...follow me nah and see the VMAs through the LensSavvyFatty.
Face was beat; dress was hot. She might actually regain her early 2-thou'z SavvyFatty BILF status back as I didn't see extension-pod ONE.
Can we say: UPGRADE?!
Damn, it feels good to see people up on it!...(even though THIS, from her downfall days, is HI-LAIR-E-YUS! People are so
But, fa real: What's the deal with her winning all these VMAs?! 'Pity' is NOT just a word that rhymes with 'shitty' (as in her performance from last year).
Shit, I didn't even know she had a song out. Guess cuz I didn't know MTV still played videos. **shrugs**
And trilly, I could have used another 340+ months without having what I call the OPPOSITE of the "pleasure." **blech**
Guess my inching-towards-30-like-a-Nick-Hogan-driven-Toyota-Supra ears just cain't digest pointless pop like this anymore. I would have done better to watch this performance on MUTE cuz Rih-Rih was LOOKING hot. However, I can always live my life without her daughter-of-Keith-Sweat baaaa'ing.
The hair and makeup: Type-FLAWLESS! That's the kinda shit I'd rock if I didn't have to sit in a cubicle slavin' for the gubmit on a 5x/week basis.
But...Who knows?! Maybe one day when I stop caring about such trivial things as food, water and shelter you can find me by the copy machine rockin' a punky pomp-shag, floor-length tail type'a thang.
Just hope Dick Cheney wasn't tuning in with his Suge-Knight-pre-ass-whoopin'-mind on. He mighta holla'd at his Vegas goons to Harry Whittington a muhfucka after the show. Let's hope not. **tunes to Headline News**
**Sidenote: Why could I only understand Russ when I WASN'T looking at the screen? 'Tardation is not just a Palin family thang, fam!
**Real talk: Maybe if some of us would have rocked ours like these young "rock" stars we wouldn't have the problems we have NOW.
Anywhoo...Anybody who's ever been to Sea World San Diego in the 80's and early 90's remember that stage show they had called, "City Streets?" (YES! I'm an ANCIENT HEAD!)
Tell me the facade they performed in front of didn't remind you of the City Streets show? 'Member: The one where dudes in plaid shirts, spandex, and tap shoes were supposed to be "hood?"
Guess that's just the John McCain in me...**tears**
Eff the fact that he was sagging SKINNY JEANS (...pause...) and I saw more of his bootay cheeks than his face (not missing much ANYdayumway)
Wish MTV would have had their usual pit of TRILL party people right at the stage giving Wayne the energy he deserved instead of those boring azz, uninspiring industry folks and middle-aged Y Ts, but hey. Whatevz!
Leona Lewis did her thang on "Misunderstood!" Run me a LimeWire download of this performance ASAP! She spit straight soul to that mic! LOVED IT!
And LiLo: Ya betta cover up them goodays. Sammy Ro looks like she packs a MEEEANNN domestic violence backhand, yo.
The song and performance was cool. Pink rocked the City Streets facade, too. AND All while remaining the hottest dude I've EVER seen in a rubber bodysuit. EXCELLENT tuck-job, yo!
Trill talk: I love me some Pink. Any bitch who unapologetically says what she feels is on my "Fuck Witchu" list.
BIG UPS, 'Lecia!!!
And of course homebitch could have had whatever she liked...cuz you could have WHATEVER you like for a small fee, too. Bitch looked like she had coupons for $5 suckey-suckies on DIZZECK.
That "Live Your Life" performance was fiyah, though. Even with Rih's negr'yodelin'. Plus the biatch got a body that won't QUIT. Let me put the Chipotle down long enough to bless my existing schwag with a flat stomach like 5TonHead and see if I won't rock a Saran-wrap bikini top with my skin-tight jeans on the DAILY.
Just cuz I ain't achieve it (so I extra-cheese it!) I ain't gon' "Mo'Nique" a ho' at all. I'mma tip my hat,
ChrissyAg: Datchu, homay?
MTV: Y'all sure the performers didn't get switched up and Blondie ain't come out with some new hot shit on deck for the kiddies?
C. Ag was chunky...but funky. Do ya thang, MILFy McMILFerford!
Guess Bjork is on her MiJac "Bad" tour ish, no?
Naw, that ain't the ex-SugarCubes sugah baby. It's just the androgynous frontman of German band, Tokio Hotel, Bill Kaulitz, doing him as the band accepted the "Best New Artist Award."
Oh!...but before they go...an 80s Patti LaBelle called...
We get it: You got some ish coming out and are on ya grizzy trying not to Todd Smith the project. GOTCHU!
But real rap: That "Baby" shit ain't NUUUHHHFFFIN' but a fork-in-the-garbage-disposal sounding rehash of "Headsprung."
Won't front: I do get my head-noderation on to The Dream's part.
You can search but you never gon' find/A neck that's missing like miiinnne
Since that's neither here nor there...
I really didn't pay attention to his performance with Lil' Weezyana. But when I did take the opportunity to glance over at the screen, I kept having trailer-park-meets-projects visions and "Say Say Say" moments.(<<--Mac & Jac, anyone?)
Pure, unadulterated, understated DOPENESS.
'Ye's vocals were surprisingly GRAVY. The drums: IGNORANT! HOT!
This muhfucka consistently blurs the lines of
New rap dudes: TAKE NOTES and aspire to EXCELLENCE.
**locks eyes with Kanye, then drops to knee with Jacob box ajar**
All photos snatched from Getty Images and WireImage via MTV