Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Paper Plan$

Happy Hump Day, folks!!! **sidenote: Is it just me...or do you think this is IGG-ZACK-LEE what pops off after every NBA game?

Anywhoo...

For those of you who’ve been following this dirty weave track of a blog I have for any amount of time, you know I am an ABSOLUTE horndizzog.
I like to screw more than Mountain likes to Dew. I like to do the grown up more times than Oprah’s blown up. I like to fuck more than Converse likes to Chuck. Comprende?

So, with the economy worse off than Kim Zolciak’s wig in a windstorm added with the fact that my coworkers and I have been promised ZIP-ZERO raises for the next couple of years, I’ve got my hornay lil’ mind working overTIZZIME thinking of a Master Plan to supplement my already paltry income. (no prostitute)

So, while chilling at ChateauSavv, I came up with a couple of business ideas to help a sista be JUST FINE! in '09 and play the game to win in 2K10.

Tell me which one you think will pop off faster than a hooker’s bra:

Sex Toy Jingle Jammer:
Not **buzz** that **buzz** I’m **buzz** a **buzz** connoisseur **buzz** or anything **lip bite; lite Big O** but I think I’d be a bomb azz jingle writer for sex toys. Take this lil’ ditty, reppin’ for the legendary lady lover, the Rabbit, for example:
(adlib) "Purple Rabbit All-Stars in this biatch! **music stops**
I be on it/All night, man: I BE ON IT!/ALL DAY!/Straight up/Pimp if you want it you can find in vajay/I’M ON IT!"



OR




SavvyFatty’s Chicken, ‘Dro & Lapdances
Imagine a nice lil’ spot where you can blow a lil’ bit of Dr. Dre’s first album, order up some shit and get your proper eat “OWN,” theeennnnn top it all off with a big booty bouncin’ biatch shakin’ faster than dice on ‘hood corners.


The ambience would be Haute ‘Hood Fab at its finest with wooden TV trays posted in front of big, comfy sectional couches.


Once you’re done eating and turning some shit INTO shit and breaking your ‘dro up like divorced couples break the dough up, you can fold your tray up to make room for “Mercedez” to shake what her mama gave her. There'd be a VIP/Champagne area with beat-the-HAIL-UP couches available for those who get weed-stuck...or to be utilized by those who found a nice, kind strippin' hoe to get they dick sucked.
**Please Note: NO, I will NOT have Stay-Puff Marshstripper bringin' down the pole AND the house with her earthquakin' bodyshakin'. HOWEVER, if you come on the right night, you just MIGHT get a bar of this SavvyFatty Twurkeration in ya life. IT'S NOT A FUCKIN' GAME!

Now, my loyal SavvyFAT’LIENS:

Which one of these fool-proof plizzans do YOU think will have me making BIIIIIG CHIP$ instead of this wishbone and a holey stocking cap I currently cop every other Friday?

4 comments:

NaturallyAlise said...

That purple rabbit is the troof, shame the devil... oh dang did I just snitch on myself, won't be the first time I've done things to myself... zing! hi-yooooooooo!

And by the way is that an industrial size pole ol' girl got? Also does the sectional have on eof those special sectional lamps, you know the tall joints that sprout out into 5 lights? wouldn't be complete without it... girl u crack me up!

bun_ebombshell said...

Gurl, now you KNOW the shaker club is where the money at!! And I'll come be the main attraction! You know errbody gone come and spend some money to see Big Bootay Juday!!!

President Anthony Taurus said...

hit the pole... a lot of skinny dudes love big girls

Hey Shae! said...

LMAO Um... I'mma go with the phat rabbit. You can do the pop lock & drop it without the fake pole. ;-)