Monday, January 12, 2009

3 Questions: Brought to you by the letter 'I'

...for "Infidelity"
(You'll get it in a minute, home skillet...)

"Happy" Monday, all!
**sips coffee; punches calendar in the dome**

I'm running on 'E' like a muthatoucher, mayne as I just got in from a solo drive from Vegas and I'm BEAT like Suge on LA concrete, man.
This coffee ain't doing a gotdayum thang for me and I'm rocking the same pants I had on yesterday. **pours out a lil' Tide for the work clothes still in the hamper that were scheduled to be washed Sunday, but my fas'tailed azz went to Vegas instead of taking care of home; snatches a branch off a tree to beat my own ass**

Day-Old jeans or not: I made it to the Jay-Oh-Bee and now that I'm here, I just have a few questions for all my loyal Savvy FAT'Liens.
So, if you'd be so kind as to take a moment from your busy schedules of not doing a gotdayum thang while STILL getting paid for it and answer the questions below, I'd greatly appreciate it. Hell, I might even buy you a shortset...

1) Have you ever seen a 'Uniggcorn?'

2) If you were "blessed" with only 1 hand, how would you:

A) Zip your zipper?

B) Tie your shoes?

C) Wash your hands?

3) Which melanin-wealthy Hip Hop Chorus King did I spot at the club in Vegas OPENLY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY cupcaking and MAD PDA'ing with a breezy OTHER than the woman he gave his last name to?



NaturallyAlise said...

Uniggcorn, that word just changed my life and next lifetime & shit... if you cut the braid will you gain magical Negro powers?

How do you wash your hand effectively when you are mono-appendaged?

I can't tell who that is.

nica said...

ok well first thing first lemme answer ur ?'s in any order i feel. i didn't scroll down before i made my guess. but when u said full o color (or however u put it) i knew it had to be t-pain. ain't nobody but akon darker on traxx. as far as one handed zippin. i do that all the time. when i'm on the phone tellin the other dark meat i'm @ work when i'm really. naw i kid. i don't play around w the meat. but i have zipped my zipper w 1 hand. i'm doin it now (had to take care of some bidness while i looked @ the uniggcorn **sexxi**.) washing ur hand is ez. do 1 thing @ a time. turn the water on. if u using bar soap. hold the soap and lather. if u usin pump soap u better pump and catch fast. then rinse. as far as tying ur shoe. it's called house shoes ni99a!! or velcro! and uh i hope i never in n real ass life see a real ass uniggcorn cus i might saavy i'm tryna attend some inaugural events in the city and a bitch is a lil short on funds! i'm tryna go see t.i and jeezy can i get $150 for the ticket and $150 for a new outfit or fuck it can i get that short set u promised?!??!!

The 78 Ms. J said...

I. Can't. Said using a vocalcorder.

Assertive Wit said...

why are you crazy as hell? LOL

Oscar aka Various Cool aka Argyle Socks said...

I once cut my left thumb so badly that I practically couldn't use my left hand. That shizz is real. Try putting on your jeans with just your one hand, people.

Yeah, I thought so. Be fucking thankful.

deeteezy said...

lol, CRAZY

Anonymous said...

I would be jackin' like a muffuga!

shaylawriter said...

not suprised about t-pain. he's very public about the fact that he engages in sexual intercourse with women other than his wife. he's even stated on the radio that his wife doesn't mind and he insinuated that she joins in.

Luvvie (aka Queen IG) said...

Savvy, I hatethat I love you for that "uniggcorn"

Sweetz said...


You know it took me 10 full minutes to figure out what a Uniggcorn was. I looked it up on google and errthang! But I see what you mean....

As far as having one hand, damn I can't even imagine. It's like trying to imagine life missing both big toes...

And no words for T-Pain. I just want him to stop making UGLY music videos.

Anonymous said...

Hell Naw ii Aiint Neva Eva seeNt a U-Nigg_Corn!!! how did that Nigga not NO! his sheiit was lIke dat...Fuck is that even a nigga??

1.) 1 handed i'd zip muh shit!
2.) i'll buy slides or Fomk wit D velCrow!
3.) get d flip nozzle faucet 2 warsh muh hands!!

S A V V Y F. Baybeh! said...

I'm rollin' with Anon cuz that ninj got AAAALLLL the answers!