Friday, April 4, 2008

The Magical Amount

It's FRIIIIIDAY and I'm ready to swang! /Roll up the bleezy/and sip me some draaank!/Tonight!/Ohhhhhhh!/Gettin' higher than a kite/Ummmm!!
Rip, Babygirl! But I had to switch it up one time for my mind!

Happy Friday, my folks!
We've been waiting all week and now it's time to GEEK!
I don't know about y'all...but tonight it's goin' down like a Prom Queen's gown! Or a paraplegic swimmer who's GUARANTEED to drown!

Am I the only 20-something that looks forward to the mindnumbing freeness that is the weekend? Or are the rest of you sitting just as eagerly in your cubes with booties ITCHIN' ready to start this party right?
I don't mean no REGULAR partyin' either. NO ZIR! No standing around socializing about politics, global warming, or stock tips while cluthchin' a brewski. OH NO! Not my type of hype. I like to GUZZLE like a dog with no muzzle! Hand me a shot to get my body hot!

The only problem is...once I get going I don't know when to stop. **embarrassed face** ESPECIALLY if I'm not E-MEE-TREE-IT-LEE buzzin'. I'll keep it movin by throwin' em back until I feel that slight hint of warmth in my thigh...and at that moment, I know I've turned down the onramp to the Drunken Biatch Super Highway!
That's when I pump my brakes, but not a moment sooner. But usually by that's far too late.Photobucket

And that's when it's time to BEWARE!!! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! Photobucket

Ladies: Tuck ya husbands!
Men: Hide ya wives...and ya side bitches!
Cuz when I'm "thuuurrr" it's a WRAP like Saran! There's not a booty, titty, dick, or mammal toe in the place that's not getting felt up. And EVERYBODY in the room is an instant contestant in the Tongue Kissing ContestPhotobucket...the one that I don't HESITATE to get poppin' when my alcohol level is at "Daaaaammmnn, Homey." So don't leave ya man OR woman 'round ME! True playa fa real! Ask ANY nigga...FA REAL!

But now that I'm speeding towards the hill's plateau...I recognize it's time to make a change. It ain't as cute to be a drunken menage-a-twenty-enducing bitch at 28 like it was 5 or 6 years ago.

And if I ain't sliding my hands where the sun don't shine...then I'm somewhere passed out...silently buying tickets to go dap up Peter and lay in the bosom of my Sweet Lord. And that's REALLY not cute because who wants to be luggin' alla THIS onto a gurney?

So I guess I need to find my magical amount. The one that KEEPS me faded, but not enough to lay me out!

But...not tonight!

**Shouts to my boy Dre for the inspiration! You ain't NEVAAAAAA lied!!!!!


Miss Sweetberries said...

I am with you, I live for the weekend. This G is feeling like she might smoke a whole 8th tonight and sip me some dark liquor.
I am trying to get "there" as quickly as possible!

Have a good weekend!