Thursday, April 3, 2008

NO-NO-NO-NOTORIOUS

Notorious, the biopic currently being filmed about the life of late rapper Notorious B.I.G., would do better being called No Look Alikes.

Jamal Woolard, the actor playing the lead role, is not nearly "Biggie"-looking enough for my tastebuds. My panty partner just doesn't get the same instant drying sensation and overwhelming desire to sew itself shut like it did viewing this nice young man. Uh, BAYBA-BAYBAY UHH!
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And Naturi Naughton, the cute chocolate one of 3LW "fame", in the role of Lil' Kim, has more of her Tangi Miller game proper.
Plus, her staink factor is far too low to capture the necessary doucheynous of the Queen Bee. I have no sudden urge to plug a Summer's Eve nozzle into my USB port like I do whenever I Kim comes across my monitor. TRUUUUUEEE!
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Add in Angela Bassett as Miss Voletta Wallace...you really got some casting bullfuckery going on!
AN-GEL-A BASSETT??!?!!!! Fa real? That's ya word?
I mean...Alfre Woodard wasn't available? Whoopi Goldberg didn't have space on her calendar? WHAT?!

With casting like this, I don't EVEN wanna know who they'll pick to play Faith Evans.
Heaven help us if Kim Wayans is free!

3 comments:

msfre said...

i think loretta devine would have made a good Violetta!

kayellejaye said...

LMAO. That casting is a damn mess. I have NO desire to see this movie.

kimmysan said...

The Biggie in this movie would have been better suited to play the part of "Whatever happened to that big fat kid in the movie Hook".