**lookin' around at a room full of skranjuhs while nervously fidgeting**
I'm feelin' like a mid-90s 'Pac right now.
Anybody know the feelin' when you have what you THOUGHT would be a small get-together with only a couple of ya folks?
You pick up a lil' meat portion and a veggie plate that you KNOW ninjas ain't HARDLY gon' be checkin' for but you get it anyway. (NayNay DID let you use her EBT card so...). You call up ya Auntie to hook up some 'tayduh salad and break out a couple bottles of low-level, liver-assaulting wine & spirits that you purchased under the "Shit, it's better than NUTHIN'" rationale.
And when the guests start to arrive, just cuz somebody saw a counter full of Popov they instantly assumed it was goin' DOWN and got to textin' the whole 'hood, turning ya shit into a FUNCTION (<--West Coast speak for a par-tay. Dub-C Stand UP!!!!) faster than you can exclaim, "But I only got a 20-piece Honey BBQ Wings!"
Well...that's how a ninjette's feelin' at this IG-ZACK moment. Even though I'm MORE than
tittyfucking myself IG-CY-TID happy to see y'all!!!! :^D
Updating this blog has been secondary to my
triflin', sorry ass, would make better dough givin' blowjobs to transients daytime gig and after work beachin' up whale-style with my DVR.
I post WHEN and IF I want to. And with the homegirl Mary around a lil' bit mo' than I'd like her to be lately, it's been LESS and LESS in the past month or so. **hopin' my pastor ain't in the buil'in**
But now that my motherblogger Fran FRESH'er over at C+D blew my shit up like Fat Joe in a Taco Bell baffroom, I'm David Bowie and Queen-style under pressure to keep my new audience in-tuh-tayned. (**Oh, and Fresh, please believe you got an account opened and a at the GA branch of the Head Bank for that gooooood lookin' out!) Even though I'm nervous in the service, I'm up for the challenge. Especially with the kinda cool azz folks that have joined my once small blog family.
Shouts to everybody who first-time SavvyFatty'd it yesterday and to those of you who emailed, Myspaced and/or commented regarding the 40/40 post. Glad you enjoyed my honest account of how me and my folks were bent over and no vaselined at Jigga's spot.
And special fam shouts to my grandma who spit some TROOFUS like fighters spit toofus about my review being a little TOO scathingly descriptive.
In the words of my lil' ole Gramz out there in San An, TX, who ain't hardly tryna be the Voletta Wallace of the blog set:
Like Dave Chappelle when dude flashed him the gun after he refused to pay $873 for a car wash: DUNNNNHHHHH!!!!
But sit back, relax, read some old posts, and get to know what I'z all about. And if you feel so inclined and my mouf ain't full one way or the other **wank, wank**, talk to me. I talk back.
Friday, May 30, 2008