Friday, May 30, 2008


Awww, dayum.
**lookin' around at a room full of skranjuhs while nervously fidgeting**


I'm feelin' like a mid-90s 'Pac right now.

Uhhh...hi, err'body.
**waves mad awkwardly**

Anybody know the feelin' when you have what you THOUGHT would be a small get-together with only a couple of ya folks?
You pick up a lil' meat portion and a veggie plate that you KNOW ninjas ain't HARDLY gon' be checkin' for but you get it anyway. (NayNay DID let you use her EBT card so...). You call up ya Auntie to hook up some 'tayduh salad and break out a couple bottles of low-level, liver-assaulting wine & spirits that you purchased under the "Shit, it's better than NUTHIN'" rationale.
And when the guests start to arrive, just cuz somebody saw a counter full of Popov they instantly assumed it was goin' DOWN and got to textin' the whole 'hood, turning ya shit into a FUNCTION (<--West Coast speak for a par-tay. Dub-C Stand UP!!!!) faster than you can exclaim, "But I only got a 20-piece Honey BBQ Wings!"

Well...that's how a ninjette's feelin' at this IG-ZACK moment. Even though I'm MORE than tittyfucking myself IG-CY-TID happy to see y'all!!!! :^D

Updating this blog has been secondary to my triflin', sorry ass, would make better dough givin' blowjobs to transients daytime gig and after work beachin' up whale-style with my DVR.
I post WHEN and IF I want to. And with the homegirl Mary around a lil' bit mo' than I'd like her to be lately, it's been LESS and LESS in the past month or so. **hopin' my pastor ain't in the buil'in**

But now that my motherblogger Fran FRESH'er over at C+D blew my shit up like Fat Joe in a Taco Bell baffroom, I'm David Bowie and Queen-style under pressure to keep my new audience in-tuh-tayned. (**Oh, and Fresh, please believe you got an account opened and a at the GA branch of the Head Bank for that gooooood lookin' out!) Even though I'm nervous in the service, I'm up for the challenge. Especially with the kinda cool azz folks that have joined my once small blog family.

Shouts to everybody who first-time SavvyFatty'd it yesterday and to those of you who emailed, Myspaced and/or commented regarding the 40/40 post. Glad you enjoyed my honest account of how me and my folks were bent over and no vaselined at Jigga's spot.

And special fam shouts to my grandma who spit some TROOFUS like fighters spit toofus about my review being a little TOO scathingly descriptive.
In the words of my lil' ole Gramz out there in San An, TX, who ain't hardly tryna be the Voletta Wallace of the blog set:

"Ain't Las Vegas owned by The Mafia? I hope they don't read that article and be after you!"

Like Dave Chappelle when dude flashed him the gun after he refused to pay $873 for a car wash: DUNNNNHHHHH!!!!

But sit back, relax, read some old posts, and get to know what I'z all about. And if you feel so inclined and my mouf ain't full one way or the other **wank, wank**, talk to me. I talk back.


Anonymous said...

I've been reading all your blogs since Fresh put you on yesterday and you are HILARIOUS.Keep doin you and I'll keep reading.

P.S. I thought I was the only one who thought PB Floyd was the biznass. You can keep Kim and Oprah though.

S A V V Y Fatty!...uhhh...DUH! said...

Awww, Anon! How sweet! And yes, PBF is FAF: Fine as FUCK!

But...before I enjoy the beans and conebread THICKNESS of KK and FA SHO you ain't tryna jump on that trizzain?! There's at least room for 6 more on KK'z caboose alone, you know.

Canadian Maple said...

I don't know what happened to my first comment, but shoot I'll say it again. Keep them thangs coming cuz I'm going back to work after a year on MAT leave (that's how we do up here) and your posts are gonna be one of few things that stop me from shankin mofos up in the office ; )

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm about to get fired reading you and C&D's blog on my work computer - but it's the only thing that gets me through the day!!! Keep putting it down like only you can, girl...and keep reppin for big and luscious...

S A V V Y Fatty!...uhhh...DUH! said...

Ayy, CanMape: We got MAT Leave here, too. It's called Friday.
And it stands for M uhfuckas Always Tryna Leave.
I was successful with mine today cuz I'm at home KICKIN' it for the rest of the afternoon.

S A V V Y Fatty!...uhhh...DUH! said...

Ay, Anon Numero Dos: I appreciate your love for the site, but don't go and gitchoself fired now.
Cuz there's only enough tap water, shrimp Top Ramen, and a frictioned-out pair of Venezia jeans for ya girl ry'chea! **points to self**

Much love, though!

Ebony said...

Yeah, I was just "put on" the other day to your site, but G-I-R-L, you are too funny and SAVVY indeed. I'm over here cracking up from the last few posts I've read. I'll be sure to dig into the archives as time permits, but PLEASE keep it coming!

PS. KK's body is Sick.... I feel ju!

Rainbowdec18 said...

Fresh is getting a big ol’ Thank You from me for making me aware of this blog. I spent yesterday reading through your archives, you are truly HEE-Larious!! This is my new favorite blog, I just sent all of my peeps a link to your website. Me and my LB Real Women Dollars will be all up and threw this piece on a daily basis!!!!

Lil' Creole Pimp said...

OOOH... so I'm a stranger now.

I been had you on blast. You been in the clique of gorillas tees. You musta done forget.

Savvy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
S A V V Y Fatty!...uhhh...DUH! said...

Hola, Creole'vito, Baby Da- **blocking Play Doh shank** I mean DanYe West!

Welcome, Eb and Rainbeezy!

So, Eb: I'm always lookin' for a partner in 'behind.' You sayin' you jumpin' on the next KK Under Her Dress Express with me?!

Rainbeezy: You brang them Real Women Dollars and you'll be the proud recipient of some SavvyFatty backstage passes, man! Ain't NUFFIN' like savin' $25 off a $50 purchase, nahmean?!

sugaHoney said...

I was hella happy to find you through C&D. You're hilarious and we speak the same language: that bay area slang. lol Keep'em coming, girl.

rissa said...

"giving blowjobs to transients" may possibly have gotten me fired. if so, we finna be roomies.