Savvy Fasties

**Handing over complimentary Club Chub membership card and saluting my sister with the sisterly Double Chin Spin**

Celeb wife Justine Simmons arrived on the red carpet for the celebration of officially handing over her Slightly Overweight membership pendant to join my illustrious squad of buffet-loving bitches, Club Chub Healing Bridges event hosted by shock-jock Howard Stern’s own personal sambo, Robin Quivers. Guess money CAN’T buy you a functioning appetite suppressant.

IT'S TRICKY!/TO BE SO ROUND/TO BE SO ROUND/TO BE SO ROUND/IT’S TRICKAY!

Cashing in her pussy chips
Rumor has it that songbird Alicia Keys is due to marry her music producer boo, Kerry “Krucial” Brothers, this upcoming Independence Day. And as much as we’d love to take that to the bank, **handing it back** we just cain’t. ‘Leesh? Cashing in her pussy chips? YEAH RIGHT!!! SORRY! We don’t believe you! You need more people! How could she possibly forsake a closet full of New Eras , rainbow bandannas and these?

Is Wayne Brady gon’ have to do his own full set?
It’s official like a ref with a whistle: Black America’s Whitemare Oily Black Sailor Coon is divorced.
Comedian Wayne Brady’s marriage to his wife of 9 years, Mandie, is over. The couple shared one daughter…and a disdain for dating and marrying within their own race.

When trying to reach Mandie for comment, she only offered: YOU WOAWN MANNY-COOR in PED-DEE-COOR?!