Wednesday, May 28, 2008

FRONTIN' is a habit

DON'T get like me!


I took my broke azz to Vegas this weekend with not even enough money to cop a crispy new pair of Pro-Wings. But from the way we Sin City kicked it, you'd be under the impression that I made waaaayyyy more than a Chuck E. Cheese token annually.
But I was on a mission: I didn't care if gas cost a Beetlejuice blowjob per gallon, it was a matter of EXTREME importance that I get away for Memorial Day. Lucky for my impoverished azz, the girls and I were able to find a hotel within my budget so we hopped in the ol' Honda and beat the 15 North like a smart mouf kid.

But please believe, like Pharrell sung: I was just FRONTIN' cuz, as most of y'all who know me personally or thru the blogosphere, you're WELLl aware of my adventures as a po' gubmit employee peeump.


If you're a regular SF'er you already know how I cain't even afford to pay attention and how homeless people hand ME change while patting my back and saying, "It ain't trickin' if I got it." **tears**

Regardless of the comatosed wallet, I STILL rartied like a sock par! JEAH!

Shouts to the following for making my Memorial Day weekend mad memorable:

"Dan-Ye" and "Hank Bank$" for showing me and the girls some love.

Dan-Ye, you knowwwww you got an account open at the Head Bank for sending me that cam phone pic of my baby daddy on stage at his SuperFest and for comin' through with that good PLP'in (that's Parkin' Lot Piffin') in the 'Price!! That was just what I needed RIGHT when I needed it. ;^p And...I hope that lil "adult" conversation at The Orleans don't have you lookin' at ya girl any different. Me and the girls don't ever get TOOO crazy. We were just sayin'! LOL!

Pretty Boy Fine Fucker Floyd for just being you.
You probably didn't see me cheapskatin' it and watching you from the furniture store parking lot since I didn't wanna pay have $10 to get into SuperFest, but I sho' saw you in your jersey with no undershirt. And usually I don't play that off-the-court-musty-fuck look, but for your hot azz, I'll give you a pass...and if you wanted it, summa this azz. OH!
Only question I have is: WHO dug up a time capsule containing a 1993 issue of Rap Pages and thought it was the BIZNISS to book Domino to perform at the event? The Getto Jam was like, "No, ma'am." But props to you for givin' a brotha an opportunity to make some $$$ in order to get his herringbone and Ray-Bans outta the pawn shop.

Poetry nightclub in Caesar's Palace for its blatant disregard of its own ADVERTISED Saturday night promotion!
I loved the way your website said those in all white for the Tank performance would get front of the line privileges THEN had your Mr. Piggy security guard act like that was the most preposterous thing he'd heard when I asked him about it. Had muhfukkas walkin' around with their Q-tip games strong including my azz, in the buil'in lookin' like a quadruple roll of Charmin for no good gatdayum reason! GRRRR!!!
That was cool, though, cuz we bounced from there and made it RAIN on the bar, tables, and slot machines at Bellagio. And in turn, they made it rain on our livers with all them free dranks. YAY! and D'oh! at the same time!

Gary Payton who was valeting his Range, sittin' on blindingly bright 94'z, right in front of Honey D. Honda at the Bellagio. Both your profile and edge up game were on pizzoint, GP!
Now...if only you coulda seen through the thick layer of desert dust covering my windshield, you woulda been the winner of Thanksgiving dinner.
**wink, wink** Cuz I KNOOOW them lil' Middle Eastern lookin' toothpicks you were with cain't do it like ya Fatty. Dontchu know once you go fat, you'll eat till you bring on a heart attack?!?!....NO?!...Well, that.

Josh! Good LOOOKKKIIINNNN' on coming through for your ninjettes! We had a BLAST with you at the 'Lagio. And your homies weren't half bad either!! ;-) Just let me know how I can be like YOU when I grow up! I'll have my people call yo' people!

The overzealous maid staff at our hotel for interrupting the tiny bit of sleep we were able to get.
In our half-dead hungover state, how could we hear you bangin' on the door shouting, "HOUSE-GEE-PEENG!" but you, awake, alert and WORKING, couldn't hear us screaming, "NO! THANK! YOU!"
We appreciated your enthusiasm about your job.
Really we did. But just imagine, if instead of being in an alcohol-induced semi-coma, we were...
Yeah... so clean out your ears, Maria.
That's pretty much it. The weekend was fun for all! except for...


Kitty said...

Domino?? Girl, stop.

Angel said...

Girl trust me when I tell you that you didnt miss a DAYUM thing at Poetry. I went there back in November, and you would think it woulda been poppin, seeing as how it was Thanksgiving weekend and yall. In the words of my girl NEW New - Unh, Unh, aint gone happen!