Wednesday, June 11, 2008

LIFE of a Living Bass Head

In honor of Black Music Month and Hump (<-yes, please) Day, here's one of the first songs, that I can remember, to ever make me aware of the potential fiyah down below.

Since the first time I heard "We Want Some," as a 2nd grader (Yup! Don't tell MamaSav, please! Y'all know she believes in retro whoopin's!!) riding with my then 25 year old, highly irresponsible, but always cool uncle, I've been in luhh with anything sporting a bass-heavy, high ass-shakeability beat.

As an early 20-something gettin' my partay and drank on, you'd besta clear a nice plus-sized path to the dancefloor unless you're up for losing a pair of swap meet stilettos or Now Lata Thom McAns. Cuz when I hear just the first SECOND of this, it's a wrap for anybody standing in my way as I make moves faster than Chinese kids make shoes!

And, ask my girls: If I get the slightest inkling that the DJ is about to mix this in, please believe I turn into Good Ol' St. Nick as I lavish the crowd with strings of pearls AND inhalers to clutch cuz EVERYBODY's gonna need breff to breeve after this show. Cuz I'm about to shock the world by changing minds about flat-assed fat girls as it's LITERALLY about to look like I was humpin' an invisible "stick."
Too-Short and Lil' Jon's "Shake That Monkey" is probably my all-time favorite no-ass shakin' song, with "I Wanna Rock," "Scarred," "Hoochie Mama," and Ying Yang's "Salt Shaker" all tied for second.
You ain't NEVVUH seen a big biatch shake it like a salt shaker, polaroid pickcha AND Michael J. Fox sittin' on a washing machine full of bricks until I hear these songs back to back.

So, shouts to my uncle's reckless child care skills and Mr. Mixx, Fresh Kid Ice, Luke, and Brother Marquis for turning this sitting-Indian-style-in-front-of-a-Donald-Duck-record-player-listening-to-Cabbage Patch Dreams kinda gal to a Bass Head for life.
With your influence, I've burned many a'calorie while turning many a dancefloor into a boner-having ninja graveyard, mayne.


Anonymous said...

You are too funny! I love your blog.

Hollatyogirl said...

I have a love/hate relationship with Shake Dat Monkey. I LOVE the beat but I just can't dance to the lyrics.

B&^^$ f*&^ my wife, you my slut for life.

Im sorry, I just cant do it. I aint no holy roller or nothing but that song is too much for me. And Im a Lil Kim fan.

What would Harriet Tubman say.

Savv'alier said...

Ayyy, Anon!
Welcome to the pawday. Register so we know who you iz, mayne...or wo-mayne!

HOLLA: Yeah, I mostly like the beat.

However...**slippin' my TROOF cap on** when I'm faydid like bal'headed bitches that cain't braid it and I hear "Shote" say,
"Now put yo ass on his dick/Let him know you the baddest lil bitch/Put ya hand on ya clit/Ask him do he like that shit..."
I cain't be liable for my actions!

That song got dat ig'nit shit I need!

elle_boogie said...

u are so damn crazy.....but i love it!!!