Monday, July 14, 2008

JonASS Whoopin'

Raise your hand if you ordered a SavvyFatty 2-piece combo with NO soda!!!!!


Dear Nick Jonas,
Let me start by informing you that NO weapon formed against me shall prosper; I'm more than a conqueror. **kisses 99-Cent Store Jesus Piece**
With that said, PLEASE...for the love of the curly brown pubes atop your dome, tell me you weren't behind this.

Before I hand you two front row tickets to the SavvyFatty gun show, let me explain where I'm comin' from.

I always tell My Mi that until she turns 18 and it's No R. Kelly that we're together, she can run the streets with her thugs and I'll be waiting for her.

But YOU, ninja. YOU?!?!
Unh UNH!!

Like a diet of strictly penises: I ain't havin' it! At least if she was gon' dip like a chip, she coulda did it with a fucka that is NOT capable of stunt-doublin' for the little girl in Paulie. Or Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer.

I mean, shit! I'm fully aware that my short munnay cain't compete with the fact that you and your "Shane" from The L-Word-lookin' bros are over there clockin' million$ like the Jolie-Pitts adoptin' (and birthin') chil'drun. I know I ain't nuhchin' but a lowly gubmit employee in a dirty Ac (-CORD that is) and you got lame-ridden teens and tweens spittin' that kitty water into their Doras.

So since you got the world at your powdery fingertips and I ain't shit but a BWP, I kindly ask that you refrain from effin' up my happy home.

Woman to Munchkin: Have you EVER been in love? Woman to Munchkin? Ain't this the same shit YOU woulda done?!


TroublemakerSupreme said...

you have really lost your EVER-LOVING-MIND on this post! you are officially acting the DONKEY!

lurves it!

S A V V Y Fatty!...uhhh...DUH! said...

Heeeyyyy, TMS!
I been lost my mind.
**breaking out calendar from the date of my conception**

Plus been fresh out ever since the Bush Administration and the debut of such illustrious television programs like Flavor At Shot of Love.

Beezy said...

No worries Savvy. He and his brothers are probably gay (btw, am I the ONLY one who thinks all 3 of them look like they walked through a thrift store and a gay pride parade all at once? I'm just sayin' their jeans are tighter than mine AND they wear cardigans) so it won't last long. Your Mi will come back to you shawtly.