Since I Been GONE...YEAH! YEAH!

**This post is dedicated to my squad of cute big biatches, especially Miss J-Nic from the Myspace page, wonderin' if a SavvyFatty was breavin' or not. Yo' Luhhhv...It means the world to me! [/Musiq] *****Now..."OWN" with the fuckery!!!!

This past Saturday, American Idol’s pillow-top mattress-shaped stepchild, Ruben Studdard, wifed up fiancée Surata Zuri McCants.

The bride, best known for her .00123 seconds of shame fame in Nelly’s "Tip Drill" video** (3:20 mark; extreme right in white bikini top) couple asked that in lieu of throwing rice, the crowd would "make it rain" with singles instead. In exchange, the bride stripped down to her g-string, garter, and stiletto clear heels to drop and give the guests 50.
**Warning: Video not safe for work OR people with no arms because you’re most DEF going to want to be rubbing some nether regions with a blunt and bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios nearby…or was that just me?!
photo source

*****


Uhhhh…what dee HAIL do you think Britney circa 2019 Heather Locklear was doing when this pic was snapped?!
Please vote below:
C) Just finished saying “Peace Up;” in the midst of shouting, “A-Town Down!!”
OR
B) Chunking the deuces at the Po-Po after they tried to pop her for snatching Denise Richards's wig back.
photo source

*****

**screaming while tearing at afro puff**
JESUS, WHY?!?!?!
**on knees sobbing**

Why?!?!?
First, I was first to live with the news that Mini-Me aka Verne Troyer, has a sex tape with a real-live, regular-sized woman. **spits vomit to the ground**
Now, while reading The Superficial I have to be inundated with midget nipple slippery?!?!? Moonlight Bunny Ranch alum, Bridget the Midget, let her lil' nipple out of her wee whore wear this past Friday in Hollywood.
Why, Lawd?!?!? What have I done?!?!?! **taking negative 36.3 million seconds to ponder**
I know that that was that woman’s husband, Lawd. I did (and do) know that. But…he got an 8!
But this?!!!! My EXTREME baaaadddd!!!!

*****


**handing my tongue the phone while relaying a message**
SUH BAWTH THEE CAW LITH FO’ YOO…
Kim KardASShian celebrated lil' sis Chyna Khloe Kardasshian’s 24th birthday over the weekend by making my clit beat up my KY Warming Liquid- slathered pointer finger.
photo source

*****

Alicia Keys attended the 2008 Michael Strahan/Dreier LLP Charity Golf Tournament pre-party in the NYC this past weekend. The slight showing of a sexy, supple rounded hip is what made me post this pic as it reminds me (and my nipple erection) of when she looks like this...

NFL alum Eddie George was also in the house; lips sponsored by MAC's new lip glass tint, Rainbow Raisin.

*****

Destiny's StepChile' Letoya Luckett was also out this weekend, flossing in her gettin’-extra-hours-due-to her-BOGO-sales-promotion-skills attire, looking like a choco-firework in a bold patterned, off-the-shoulder number.
photo source

*****

High Thought of the Night:
Who do you think is the villainous vixen trying to own and control Ne-Yo in his latest video, “Closer?”

Savvy’s Guess: None other than Miss Black Embarassment Herself,Miss Peachez (Ya Hea' Me?!)…cuz who else gon’ taste test a whole gatdayumed Thanksgiving-sized spread in negative 46 matrillion seconds to let you know if there’s enough fatback in the “grains” but Miss PokeChopWithNoHandsEatin’ Ne-yo-sha?

Is Ya Skin A Sin?

Shouts to my brutha, Jaz, for the info on this one. A few others also emailed me about this so you know I HAAAADDD to post.

Did you know that companies in the US have said they would hire a white man with a felony record and no high school education BEFORE they would hire a black man with NO criminal record and a 4-year degree?

July 23rd at 9pm and July 24th at 9pm CNN will premiere a series, "Black in America with Soledad O'Brien."
For my brothas and sistas, especially those raising young brothas and sistas, I URGE you to watch this special with your children.
The aforementioned statistic and many others will be revealed during the series.
On 7/23 the series will focus on Women and Families. 7/24 is dedicated entirely to the plight of the Black Man in America.

I beg and plead with you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE watch and internalize what you see and hear; no matter HOW disturbing the information revealed...you can (and will) thank me later.
For more information: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2008/black.in.america

In the meantime, let's take it back to when Hip Hop wasn't telling us to YOOOOUUUUU and super-soak hoes, but was more concerned with each one teachin' one.
80s babies: Remember this one?! Let's see how many rap legends YOU can spot in this clip.

Never Had A Feeling That's So Real

Happy Black Music Month, folks!

Love is in the air like gas prices and air fare. I'm hiiiiiigggghhhhh like a bird in the sky!

Wanna know the reason why?!

All I can say is: Wow! What a weekend!
After 2 years of mad question askin' and blunt passin' over the subject, I finally said these 3 words to the man I've admired and adored for awhile now.

And real talk, I feel free like tittays with no bra. Items with no cost. Employees with no boss.
Fa Real: WHAT was I waiting for?!?!?!!!

So...in celebration of me FINALLY keepin' it realer than Real Deal Holyfield, here's a lil' something from Bad Boy's Day 26 that sings my life with its words.
Sing it, Big Mike!!!! Let 'em know we can put it down for more than a 3 piece and a biskit with a large size Red Beans and Rice, brutha!!!

And the Winner Is...

Mad thanks to all who voted for a Savvy Fatty FreakMixxx. 'Twas fun to see what songs you wanted to see mixxed in a way that ONLY ya girl Savvay Savv can. Ya know I lubz you, riiiigghhhhtt?!?!

However, for you Reading Wasn't Fundamental muhfuckas who voted via Myspace or email...you might as well be in Flaw'duh cuz YA VOTE DON'T COUNT, HOMAY!!!!

So...after 2 PROPERLY cast votes in the comments (What it DEW, Holla and Ms. B!) the winner(S) are:

"I'll Spray Yo Curl"


AND

"My Bra's On For My Tittays"


*****

I'll Spray Yo Curl by Savvy
Just the 1st verse

Savvy up in the club
Just watch her do her thang
She might wanna wrap
She might want some braids
See I was on her
And she was on him
She all on my Lanes
I work my Lanes like a dick
She World of Curls Pop
Don’t know how to ack
Tried to show me her thong but
‘Vator’s drippin’ down her back
Drippin on me
For most of the night
Her man think I’m hornay
But it's just juice in my eyes

CHORUS
Lil Mama’s hair good
Is that a curl?
Lil Mama’s hair flyyyyy
Is that a curl?
Shirt greasy like a skillet
Is that a curl?
She keep her gliss on high
Is that a curl?
Man look at her hair goooo
Is that a curl?
Just watch her soul gloooowwwwww
Is that a curl?
Tell me why that curl looks like it’s from Comp-Compton
She run her fingers through her curls
He try to tell me that’s his girl
But I’m like, “FUCK THAT NINJA!”
Jheri curls drip to the floor
I might break my ankle
I’m like, “Dry that wig up!”
Call me kinky
Drip curl juice on me
Drip it from her head
Now drip it in my bed
I…I I I

*****



My Bra's On For My Tittays by Savvy
Kanye's verse

When Miley Cy get 18 I’ll be Sav Cyrus
Don’t like thinkin’ Steady Sted’s givin’ my bitch sex
I still like tits but dick is what suits me best
I lost the only dick in the world that knew me best
I gotta dozen Krispy Kremes that’s gon’ make me sick
I put the gravy on my wangs, man that makes me shit
Cuz when them Reese’s Pieces is all up eaten
Yo I need just at least a few 20 pieces
Ohhhh…I let my zipper go
Then I hop in the whip to get some tacos
I know ninjas like they bitches mad bite-sized, though
They say “Damn, Savvy Fatty, gain no weight no mo’!”
You done got big fat, homay, put the plates up, homay
If you don’t stop growin, you gon’ live so lonely
I aint lyyying
So lonely
So quit fryyying
I'll have some salad tonight (salad tonight)
No ‘taters just egg whites (just egg whites)
I’m tryna be sexy, right? (sexy right)
So every night (every night)
Put it on

CHORUS
My bra’s on for my tittays
On, on for my tittays



TA-DAAAA!!!!
How ya luuuuhhhhvvvv dat?!

High Like Elevators Ridin' Escalators...

..I'm Loaded UP
Like Cheesed'Up Mashed Potaters
You Greater?!

Yyyyeeeahhhh!!
Happy Friday, my folks!!!

My apologies. It's been a LOOONNNNG time. I shouldn'ta lefff you...without a Savvy rhyme to get fresh to. Fresh to. Fresh Toof. Yeah, FRESH, TOO! (<--respeck.)

Man, I've been at home with the straight Ebola face. Temperature was up. Afro was matted down. Self-esteem was even lower. I was the Frederick Douglass of my sheet set, mang. 'Twas AAALLLL bad.
But shouts to those who hit me up and cared if I was alive or not. AABNEDZ: Love y'all like cooked food. You know you fuckin' with a real dude, right?
But now I'm back on the scene with a FAT GIRL lean. In my Venezia jeans...OOOHHHWWEEE!! Everything's all gravy!!!!

So...I know it's Black Music Month and all, but shouts to Blind Melon (RIP, Shannon Hoon!) for singing my life with their words!!!! If it wasn't for You know I'd like to keep my cheeekks dry todaaaayyy, don't know how I woulda made it through!

So...sit back, relax and enjoy ya Friday with a lil' early 90s Alternative Rock. Bee Girl...where you beeeeee?!