This goes out to my San Diego:
SavvyFatty: So, Shan, being born and raised in Southern Cali, the fake capital of the globe, did you ever feel pressure to be something other than the luscious lady you are?
Shan: You know I'd be lying if i said, "No."
There are those mornings when i feel "fat and nasty." But i have a great family that always convinces me otherwise! I always remind myself that there tons of women like myself and someone has to let it be known that: Big is beautiful!
SF: Many plus-sized women don't have the confidence to even look themselves in the mirror on the daily, let alone get in front of a camera or out on stage to flaunt their poundage for the world to see. Where do you get your cool confidence and sexy self-esteem?
Shan: Growing up, people always said, "You'd be so pretty if you lost some weight or just dropped a couple of sizes/pounds. Once I got older, I was an emotional and physical wreck! I was a beautiful woman on the outside, but dying on the inside because all I could think about was numbers! Then it dawned on me: Why should numbers define who I am? i am a beautiful woman with lots to offer the world. I need to show it! And perhaps in my quest to get acceptance for my fellow big girls, I will raise some people's self-esteem along the way.
SF: I <3 Beth Ditto and Mia Tyler. Who are your favorite plus-sized pretty ladies in the public eye…besides me, of course? ;^p
Shan: I love Queen Latifah, Mo'Nique, Tocarra, and Jennifer Hudson!
SF: Besides the unadulterated "gorge" that is your face, what's a fave body part of yours?
Shan: My breasts! They are so full and soft. [pause] Sounds like porn, huh? [laughs]
SF: Uhhh...Yeah, it does. And won't be no touchin' of yourself on my blog. Well, not today at least. **snickers**
What about your man's favorite facet of the fab fluffiness that is you?
Shan: Oh! My man is definetly a "butt" lover! That is his fetish!
SF: **blushes** OK! I hear dat! GO BRIAN!
Ok, let's switch gears back to the G-rated. Remember: This is a family blog! We want Briannon to be able to read this post one day without spontaneously combusting out of sheer embarassment, right?
Shan: You're right! [laughs] Ok...moving along...
SF: What plus-size store or website would you make it RAIN ON if you was paid like you weigh?
Shan: I absolutely love Ashley Stewart! Whether you have $20 or $200 you can come out of there looking fierce! And the clothes fit "us" great!
SF: I like everything from the cheap chic of Forever 21, the indy feel of UrbanOutfitters.com, the playful palettes of Heatherette, to the colorful cool of Custo Barcelona. Which line, store, or site do you wish offered apparel for the Ample Amazon?
Shan: I would say Forever 21 because they seem to have some pretty, fashionable apparel at a more than affordable price.
SF: What steps does one take to become a fabulous modeling fatshionista like yourself?
Shan: Honestly it is all about networking, networking, networking! Keep your eyes open for any and all auditions. Even if the role/ gig doesn't call for plus-size because you never know: You may go in there and knock 'em dead and they might change their minds!
SF: Alright! Go 'head! GO 'HEAD! I see that "go-getter" spirit in you. What's next for Shannon?
Shan: Only God knows! But I am ready and excited for whatever He has planned!
SF: Have any closing words for our supple sisters who don't share our level of love for our plush lush?
Shan: Yes! First and foremost: Women AND men both have to know that God made you who you are! And he DOES NOT make trash! So one must practice self-acceptance at all costs. And remember: No matter the amount of clothes you wear, your curves are STILL there. So be happy with yourself and ALL that you have!
SF: Ok-K-K!!! **waves Martin Luther King, Jr. fan in the a-yer** YES!
So, when you get all big (no pun intended) and stuff, will you remember me and take a moment to pop a bottle with your homechick, Savvy F.Baybeh?
Shan: And you know this, man! SUPER HONESTLY!!!
Ok. So one of my avid readers, Millie T, mentioned the fact that I missed posting 3 questions last Monday, to which I responded, in a more than saintly fashion: "Shuddup, biatch!"
(Haha! J/k! Luhh you, "Meal.")
So, to pacify that "child of God," as well as the others who noticed the same, today I'll present you with 6 questions.
These are TRILL questions that I'd like answered, via the comments section, PLEASEandEMEETREEITLEE!
1) How Young Berg gon' get a show, yet the people don't know how that lil jheri head "Lil' Richie" from "Family Matters" is surviving the times?2) Why IS it a crime to want to recreationally ingest plants and chemicals for a lil’ mind alterization from time to time, but it's perfectly fine to drink, IN PUBLIC, and get pissy drunk to where you don't remember walking from your car to your front door-BAREFOOT-at 2am?
3) Could you picture Mary J. Blige with a dirty blonde, gel'd up, weaved up, dirty scrunchied hairstyle if she never got famous? (Yup. Me too.)
4) If Queen Latifah’s head was smaller and her eyes were closer together and she was shaped like a woman instead of a right tackle, don’t you think she’d look similar to Beyonce...or is that just the purp talkin'?
5) WHY does every reggae or dancehall song have the words “likkle” (little) or “yoot” (youth) in them? I don’t care if the shit is about elderly leukemia, there’s going to be a “likkle” or “yoot” in there SOMEWHERE.
6) Why did the Lawd give ignorant, illiterate azz ninjas the biggest and best dicks...and me no antibodies to fight off my addiction to them?And: No. NOT these kind of straps...
Wonder no more about where you can find The S A V V'iest One this weekend. I'll be at ChateauSavv, front and center at the Dell Dimension, wifebeater pulled up to my chin; Caciques pushed akimbo; Pointer and Middle going to WOIK!
And...WHY you ask?
Wait. Before I get started, will somebody be so kind as to duct tape my ooch to my body first because (**WARNING: NOT safe for nowhere but the comfort of your own panties or Speedos)
No, I'm not spittin' any gang talk; no "Crip Killin'" or none of that ghetto, organized bullshit.
I'm talking about Celebrity Kids I'd Like To Fu...Haha! You get the drift.
LAWD!
**fans self while watching R. Kelly's homemade DVD and thinking, "Awww, what's all the fuss for?"
While watching Quincy Brown's episode of MTV's "Super Sweet 16," I dayum near jumped through my Panasonic to introduce those lusciously large lips of his to my v...again, the drift is gotten.
He looks and speaks like a tiny pimp, too, exuding the confidence you'd get only from someone who's loved 'em and left 'em; dicked 'em down and kicked 'em down.
And his voice...OOOHHHWEEEE!!!! I guess he gets his voice from his daddy, late 80s R&B sensation, Al. B having a unibrow Sure and his swagger from his mama's (professional kept woman, Kim Porter) baby daddy, Diddy.
Now, when it's time to wine and dine and make love off some moonshine, I don't usually go for the lightskin, wavy wavy babies, but for this lil' one: I'll make the exception.
So, Quincy, if you're ever in Daygo and need a tour of the bouidoir at ChateauSavv the city: Holla at me, baybeh!
Title don't really have shit to do with the post, but I just likez the way it sounds!
Ok, so Saturday night I got one of the best texts of my LIFE!
My girl Courtney, or 'NeNe' (no ATL Housewives) is what we call'er, texted me to ask if I was free Tuesday night.
Instantly, I was like, **eyeroll** "Oh, gawd: another tresome invite." Don't this fucka's know my pussy's sign says: CERRADO So I didn't respond immediately.
But being the cool azz bia bia that I am, I said, "Let me text her back. She might need a ride. She might need to borrow some money for a midnight abortion. She might need some money for her midnight abortion and a ride afterward. Shit! I don't know." So I texted back.
And guess what this heffa asked me, via Myspace comment?
"Me+YOU=Color Purple and cast party Tuesday night??? Call me"
Muth.Er.Fuck.ERRRRRRRRR!!!!
**does a Negro version of "Riverdance" out of pure excitement**
I've been feenin' to get tickets to this show worse than the corners of Lil Boosie's mouth been itchin' to be wiped, man!
Ever since I heard my Baby Mama #1, Oprah Winfrey, was bringing the classic movie to Broadway, I knew I had to slaing some boodussy save my chips to peep the show LIVE.
Back in '06, me and my girl, NicaMiff, was supposed to go see it in DC in '06, but ninjas got piss poor (but not morally...unless you count the fact that she got me to 'dro tokin' that same summer, but that's neither here nor there).
Me and my girl Millie T were planning to go to the Daygo ("San Diego" for your outtatowners) but shit just never popped off.
Anywhoo, I say all that to say this:
If so, HOW WAS IT?
Did you see "Tyra" today, the "Modelville" episode?
You know, the one we discussed "HERE," where the ol', losin' azz America's Next Top Model girls, (l-r) Fatima, Dominique, Lauren, Renee, and Bianca are given the chance to become spokesmodels for natural, urban beauty line, Carol's Daughter.
Ultimately, half-man-half-amazing lightbright beauty, Dominique, took the prize, which consisted of a $50,000 modeling contract with the line.
However...
Did you see Renee's sorry, sucka, chump, punk losing ass scurry unhappily off the stage, go up to Fatima, bitchfitshit-talking, then mouth something about not being picked, then race to the top of the stairs and dramatically collapse to the floor?
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