McCain in my AZZ!

In the immortal words of Thing 2 from "Flavor of Fuckery:"

FA REAL, FLAV?!?!?!!!!

Alaska Governor Palin is McCain's choice for VP

John McCain has chosen Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to be his vice-presidential candidate on the Republican ticket for the White House, a senior McCain campaign official has told CNN. The 44-year-old Palin, now in her first term as governor, is a pioneering figure in Alaska, the first woman and the youngest person to hold the state's top political job. More bullshitteration here...

The Republicans are some tricky azz bastards, mayne!! Opportunistic Douchebags who've sat back in the cut, ninja what!, and observed what the disgruntled "Hillarations" (<<--Hillary Clinton supporters) want more than anything in the long run: A woman reppin' in DC.

Fuck the fact that this woman will support a "regime" that has brought the US economy, environment and its reputation around the world down to the fiery pits of Hell. As long as there's tampons on the ticket, PUMAs and ignorant feminists just may cast a vote for Centrum Silver in November, leaving Obama to take his "celebrity" back to the Senate.

I'm fucking speechless right now, y'all. So I cain't. Nor will I.

So...talk amongst yourselves...in the comments, of course. **wink**

WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!??!!!

BARACK DAT SHIT!!!!!!

MON.U.FUCKING.MENTAL!!!!!!!!!!
On the 45th Anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" Speech.
Coincidence?!?!! FUCK NO.

Barack Obama, mahhh man!, has just accepted the Democratic Nomination for President.
Well, I'll be GOTDAYUMED!!!!!!!
I can't even describe to you at this moment how I'm feeling. It's a mixture of pride, of joy, of excitement, of hope, of muthafuckin, "YEEEEAAAHHHHH, NINJAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The future first fam has got me so hyped!

From the precise press of Michelle's coif to the way the Obama Girls, Malia, 9, and Natasha aka Sasha, 7, are the picture of perfection sitting next to their mother. I loved the way Sasha clapped for her mother and the way Malia even stood up for Michelle. These girls are little angels. Let that hada been some kids in FamiliaSavvyFatty at that moment when they cut to that shot, SOMEbody woulda been gettin' pinched and/or slapped across the mouf. (No Child Abuse.)

BARACK-A-FELLA, Y'ALL!!!!!

The Devil Is The Troof!

**E-VEEL LAUGH**

RARARARARARARRRRRRR!!!!
Remember when I busted the pussy that was Jay-Z's Vegas locale of The 40/40 Club wiiiiiiide open?!?!Well, looka here. LOOKA HERE! BOY! LOOKA HERE!


The Devil Is The Troof!!!!!
I'd like to think I played a hand in this. To those who did NOT fall victim to the anal wallet-raping, unlike me and my girls, and avoided that bullshit azz place like The Plague and now NEVER have to worry about going to that beeyatch: Uhhh... YOU'RE WELCOME!

Now...Please repeat after me. There's only one rule: I.WILL.NOT.LOSE!

Sol-Slapped

While over at my bloggin' bwoi BJ's spot, HHU2, I came across this vid of BEYONCE'S LITTLE SISTER tryna act like she ain't BEYONCE'S LITTLE SISTER.

All I gotta say is that newscaster is better than ya girl. If that was my channel and/or interview, we either woulda cut to commercial, a boxing ring, or the line of questioning would have deviated from promoting her lil' ripoff, Welfare/WIC-office-Amy-Winehouse-At-The-Flea-Market album to questions people really give a fuck about...like:

"It's common knowledge that you can't turn a young ho into a household name. So, compared to your SUPERTALENTED, SUPERSTAR sister that did NOT have a baby as a teen: How does it feel to not be shit?"

"Are you interested in losing the rest of that Gonzo honker you had chopped off years ago in order to FINALLY resemble a Knowles and not dude from Mad TV?"

And finally:
"Bitch, do you want a SavvyFatty 2-piece combo? MINUS the biscuit?"

My jigga Juelz: You know I luhh you with all my heart and Soledad O'Brien. But ya mama woulda been knocked into some Hadley Street Dreams fuckin' wit' me.

THIS.Is.The.Sound.Of.Revenge!

Cain't Stop. WON'T STOP.

...Introducing: HORRIBLE ADORABLE!!!

Learn about it!

TRILL Deal Holyfield

What's up my SavvyFatty Divas and Dick Dealers?! How's it hangin' and danglin'?!

Remember a few posts back when I said, "Ask me ANYthang and I'll tell you the TROOF?"
Well, that day my ass was bullshittin' like a skinny girl with a bucket of chicken. But today, I'm ready to give y'all the TRILL DEAL to the questions asked via the Comments section that I DID NOT answer that day. NO BULLSHIT! All true shit! Pinky Starfish Promise!

1) So are you really into females, or are you just joking?

I'm really into orgasms; doesn't matter WHO dishes them just as long as I leave having busted 1...or a hun'nid.

2) If you could get it with anybody in the world, who would it be?

Floyd Mayweather! Lawd, he is all types of bite-sized Chocolate'y Delectability! His cocky bravado adds to the milk jug of moisture already in my Caciques for him. He could get this big guhl down on the flo' AAAALLL DIZZAM DAY!

3) U ever do a 3some (or more)? If so what was the makeup of the group?Yes, I surely have as I will be a freak until the day; until the DAAAAWWWWWNNN.
And the makeup of the group was me in Cinnamon eyeshadow, bronze eyeliner, Blackest Black mascara and a pinky nude lip gloss.
Haha!
Trill Talk: 2 Kitties and a Rottweiler.


4) I was wondering what type of outfits do you wear when you go out?Well, I'm different than the rest. I'm kinda jazzy/punky. When I step out you can find me in a cut up punk rock T-shirt with a string of faux pearls and chunky bracelets. I like to mix something rocker with something femme and dainty just to keep they heads turnin'.

My favorite fat girl sites for stepping out are Torrid, Old Navy, and Lane Bryant.
Torrid has the young, hip, fun shit. Old Navy is trying to step into the Fat Fab Arena and Lane Bryant has the classic pieces in quality fabrics--AND they give COUPONS!

Since I'z a po' peeump with a wallet and bank account on LIMP!, I like pieces that can go from day to night with the switch of the bottoms and a whole new set of accessories.

Take this printed green and black one-shoulder number I spotted at Old Navy for $6.99!

In the daytime it bangs with a pair of baggy cargo shorts, casual patent leather Gladiators, and bold Boho-Fresh accessories.

For night, class and sass it up with a khaki button-front pencil skirt, chunky faux gemstone jewelry, and hot pank! ankle boots with a matching leather clutch.

Hell, throw a black blazer or cardigan and sleek slacks over this biatch and you can even rock it, don't stop it! to the work place.

**Remember, before making it rain on ANY poychuss: VERSATILITY is key!


5) Do you agree with Mo'nique when she said that skinny women are evil?FUUUCKKKK NAWWWWW!!
And for the record: I absolutely cannot STAND Mo'nique!

Although she reps for the big girls like no other, I cannot stand her schtick. I DO NOT think she's funny nor do I think she should single out skinny bitches as being "evil" just cuz they ass can PUSH THE PLATE BACK like we cain't!
In my world, ERR'body is a hottie, including me with my Supreme Team of jellay and bellays. There's room for us ALL to get ours. I ain't gon' hate on you cuz you can rock shit like this and I cain't...or am I?! GRRR!!!
**drops down to sweep the flo' with A Milli crunches**

Texas T&A

How did our innocent lil' vacay go from this...

to this...


to...THIS?!?!?!!!!**And YES! That is the SEXXXAY'ist big guhl you know gettin' her H-Town Hydraulics on-HOOD OF THE CAR-stylee!!!

Stay tuned for the Recap!

I'm Goin' On An Aeroplane...

...and I don't know if I'll be back again!!
So, in the meantime, peep what's going on in this fat, crayzay head of mine!
I'll be back on Tuesday with a VENGEANCE!!! Until then...follow me on Twitter, biatches!!!
http://twitter.com/savvyfatty!

*******

What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
>>Is ALL an option? I fuxx with Carlo Rossi, boxed wine, and ish like Patron (<--cuz I'm classy). I gives a phuck what is is! Just get me to where I need to be!

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
>>Lane Bryant!! Club Chub: MAKE SOME NOOOIIIIISSSEEEE!!!

What are your chances of getting with your crush?
>>I have a couple of crushes and I’m crushing on them for different reasons. The chances are HIGH like an elevator riding an escalator that I’m gonna tear BOTH of them what I like to call "THE PHUCK UP!"

When was the last time you were told you were beautiful?
>>**getting out a calendar from the year 19NEVER9**

Who gave you the necklace you're wearing?
>>How do you know I'm wearing a necklace??!?!?! **checking windows**

Anywhoo...Somebody named Pearl. Said it’s the best kind to wear because of it’s protein'y goodness.

Could you go a day without eating?
>>Could you go a day without breavin’?! Ok, then!

Do you wish you never dated someone you dated?
>>Hail yes! I wish I would have never wasted my time or my juices on that Magic Marker-sized dick biatch!

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
>>Do you know anyone who should mind their own gatdayumed biznass?!

Do you still talk to the person you last dated?
>>Nope, that bitch figured out that I like ADULT-sized dicks and ain’t called me since that epiphany.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a C?
>>Yup…a nice young lady named Clitoris. She even stood up and took her hood off for me. Such a sweetheart!

Do you smoke weed regularly?
>>Do you collect black eyes and bloody lips regularly?

When it comes to the opposite sex, what's your "type"?
>>Smart, intelligent, driven, successful, hornier than a billy goat with a dick that needs a crane to get a boner.

How long does it take you to shower?
>>As long as it takes to make the poosay smell like wahduh.

Can you do splits?
>>On a dick...like THIS!

Is the last person you kissed older than you?
>>By a few months. But SHHHHH!! Don’t tell his wife!

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
>>Wealth-laced hot sex on a platter. (Yes! That is ONE thing, fucka!!)

What was for dinner tonight?
>>Ya mama…if she ain’t afraid.

Do you miss your ex?
>>I DO miss him, but when I think about him trying to throw his hot dog down my hallway I get instantly GRAVY!

Does anyone love you?
>>My new man…and I love him, too! I move fast like a skrippa's hot azz.

Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?
>>He means a lot when I want my nut. Not so much when I’d like to have a conversation.

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with an A?
>>Yes, a little pinky starfish named Asshole.

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
>>I let they punk azz GO! Then I send them a postcard from, BOUNCE BIATCH, USA! Population: YOU, ho!
Does anyone hate you?
>>Your mom. Cuz she can sleep with me quite frequently, but cain’t compete with me!

Do you dance in the car?
>>HAIL JES!! I put a hump in my back and shake my rump against my seat!

Shake That Munkay!

WOW!!!
I found ONE place in this UNIVERSE where the ex could go and be HUNG like a racehorse...sort of.
If you ever thought a male couldn't have a PHAT MUNKAY...think again!

**Warning: Not.Safe.For.Work...OR LIFE!

Mah Nay Lil' Plies

Huh?!"
Plies, gettin' his Lil' Darryl on, was seen on the scene at Maino's video shoot for the "Hi, Haters" remix.

Even though I abhor his fugazi thug image AND the fact that he's a ghetto gospel A-alike to Kirk Franklin, there's just something about this pseudo-goon that makes me want to speed in the fast lane, pedal to the floor, mayne, tryna get back to his love.He would get the SavvyFatty BEESWAX, mayne. And like a black widow, I'd eat his bite-sized ass after I busted my nut. Mmmm!! **rubbing hands together** Algernod'y goodness!

Maino was in the buil'lin' lookin' like Khalil Kain and Pillsbury Doughboy's cocoa love child.
IMHO: Ninjas with pillow soft arms should opt out of tattoo-coppin'...and invest that guap in turtleneck-rockin' instead.Oh...and Maino: I HATE your song. So, I guess you got 1 more person to wave to, right, Bitch?!

Who and WHO attended WHAT now?!

The BET Blackbuster Movies Studios must be somewhere lookin' like "Nawlins" after Hurricane Katrina hit and all its residents evacuated to some VFW lounge in Inglewood as a church bus full of Z-list "celebrities" packed the "A Conversation with Young Hollywood" event, which was part of the 12th Annual American Black Film Festival held in Los Angeles over the weekend.
Church's Chicken and the ice cream man reportedly catered the event.

A $5 EBT card plus an all expenses paid vacation to Chateau Savvy to wash my dishes and my feet goes to the first SavvyFatty'er who can name EACH and EVERY one of the Most Known Unknowns pictured below AAANNND can name 3 FILMS they've appeared in.

Ready! Set...GO!!!

At the Comedic Crossroads

Actor/Comedian Bernie Mac, one of the Kings of Comedy, has died today, at the age of 50, from complications of pneumonia. Bernie leaves behind his wife Rhonda and a grown daughter Je'Niece.
Read more...

RIP B-MAC!!!! May you rest in Milk and COOKAYS, homay!!!

Getting To Know Me

HAPPY EMM'EFFIN' FRIDAY, NINJAZ and BEACHES!!!!!!
Didn't think I was gonna make it through the week with all these car and love troubles, but I'm glad I did as I'm THAT much closer to turnin' The Great State of Texas into my personal concubine playground. JEAH!

*******

So...to set the weekend off on the right foot, I'm giving my loyal SF'ers a chance to:
ASK ME ANYTHING!Anything you want to know about your girl but felt like, "I don't know that biatch like that!"?!?!?"
Well, today's the day! No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless. I promise to answer them 100% truthfully.
**DISCLAIMER: The only questions I won't answer are names of people that I mention in the daily posts. No names will be given, but you WILL get HELLA (<--Cali, STAND UP!) personal information like: Age, Address, Social Security Numbers, Dick Size, etc. Yeah, I'm raw like that! HAHA!

So...HOLLA AT ME BAYBEH!!
Shoot your questions to the comments and I PROMISE TO ANSWER 100% TRUTHFULLY!

Words of Wisdom

What's up, my folkeration!
How's err'bawday doin' on this fiiinne Friday, Jr aka Thursday?

I still feel bad about that time that I left you, without a Savvy blog to get fresh to for all those days. My bad, dawgs!
But...Trilly, it's been a difficult past month or so for your girl.
I lost my baby. My car is sick. I'm dayum near about to lose my freedom if I don't go on vacation QUICK. So needless to say, nobody's smilin' over this way.



But, during that time of rejection and reflection, I've grown mad insightful. And below is some insight I'd like to share with you.
Like to hear it?! Hear it, hoe!

1) Ninjaz are only as courageous as their dicks are long.
If they're workin' with a monster, they're most likely a beast. If they're workin' with weenis, then all communicae should CEASE!
Cuz, in my personal experience, you'll ask that tiny-dicked, punk muthafucka to go on a romantic weekend with just the two of you and he'll tell you to "plan it and send me the itinerary; I'll go anywhere you want to go" gettin' ya azz ALLLL excited to spend some time nuzzled up under his shit-for-breff azz all so he can ignore your emails, texts, phone calls once you try to finalize shit and you'll NEVER HEAR FROM HIM AGAIN!
Yeah, bitch! I'm talkin' to YOU, homey!! FUCK YOU and that half of a Vienna Sausage you call a dick! Yeah, the head was tremendous, but YOUR DICK WAS NOT THE BIZNESS!!!!
**fanning self**

2)Ninjaz like bitches with glasses cuz them blind azz bitches cain't see they PUNK AZZES!
Ever see a nice lookin' dude with a bitch on Helen Keller status, with microscopes AND telescopes and a seeing eye rottweiller leading her way?
Ever wonder, "WUHT DUH BLUHDCLOT?!?!"
Well...WONDER NO MORE!! cuz I dun' just laced ya tennis shoes. Ninjaz like a bitch to stay in the dark about what bastards they are! And if the bitch cain't see how many fingers he's throwing up, he most likely cain't see the fact that he's been fuckin' somebody else for MONTHS and MONTHS, either.
My perfect-vision and purrday homegirl just got pushed to the side for a bitch rockin' a Ray Charles set of eyes. And the bitch ain't even CUTE!!!! Looks like a substitute teacher, circa 1983.
But...that's what the nigga wanted! And...no need to cry over spilled Similac, M.T. That ninj STILL got umbilical fluid behind his ears, anyway. Even though the dick was gravy, did you see yourself changing Pull-Ups for that much longer?!

3)Fat bitches are another fat bitch's worst enemy.
Everybody nose Savvy is mosdef a fatty.



A fresh, fly, fantabulous fat biatch at that, Jack!
Regardless of how high my fly meter goes, I got NUHFCHIN' but LOVE for AALLLL my Torrid and Lane Bryant shoppers.
Anybody with a multi-pack of chins and/or bellays is AW'IGHT WITH ME!!!! We gotta stick together like moist legs on hot leather, mayne!

But...apparently this countray azz, double-dutch lip rockin' bitch don't feel the same.
I asked this ho for a favor. Put ME own for MAH city, OWN OWN for mah city; something MAD simple. This bitch was like, "Whoops! My bad. I forgot!" But, regardless of how many times I've asked, she NEVER does the favor. So I ask and ask and ask, but get no results so now I'm reachin' for my ski mask and my hammer mad fast!
But I'm done with askin' for favors cuz I can do my own thang; be my OWN LifeSaver.
So, my girl thinks it's hate and competition: Another fat bia don't want to see another fat bia comin' up. ESPECIALLY when that other fat bia is OLDER and HOTTER. (<--Yeezzzz!)
This whole sitcho-ayshun is just another case of Fat Girls in a Barrel syndrome...and I cain't stand it!

So...the plot thickens: One day I'm checkin' her shit and I see a post that is ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME as one I'd postly previously posted. I'm like, "Hold up: WAAIIIITTT!!!" My shit wasn't good enough before, but now you're basically bitin' my stee? Okay, Station Wagon Lips: I GOTCHU!
But, my Ladies of Lane Bryant, the moral to this story is: We're a movement by ourself; but an earthquake when we're together!
We need to stick together and support one another cuz it's not that many of us reppin' for us and it SURELY ain't that many who are ON!
So I say: EFF competition when there's room for all of us to be winnin', RIGHT?!?!?!

Throw The Towel In: GIVE UP!

photo source
Iffin' that is a hatchet on the front of that shirt it's so those who spend any of their hard-earned pennies on it can easily AWF themselves once in the parking lot.

Beyonce sported some Gordon Gartrell of Dereon in the desert since it's the only place you should be caught wearing bullfuckery like this.
And...are those BROWN JEANS, homay? The kind that were the "lick" back in the early 90s? The ones that were best rocked with a button-up rayon or a striped Union Bay shirt?
Fa real, dawg? It's come to THIS, Mrs. Carter?

His Weave Look Like Some Curlay Fries

Shouts to BCK for the flick!
Lil' Henry, Seal and Heidi Klum's first mistake son showed off his chicken fries 'do on a family trip to Rome.
The rest of the people in the pic were lucky enough to enjoy combed hair and matching clothes. Lil' Hen-Dogg is never that lucky.

Canoodle Me Baby

The Princess of Star Trek, Teyana Taylor received her first kiss from someone with a real-live 3rd leg got a lil' lovey dovey kiss kiss from Lloyd at his album release party for his latest offering, "Lessons of Love." The two partied the night away at Prime in the NYC.

**Slowly Raises Hatchet Out of Back Pocket**

Young Jeezus: WHO DUH HAIL LEFT THE GATE OPEN FOR THIS OTIS SPUNKEMEYER MUFFIN SPROUTING 3 FEET ABOVE MONIQUE'S SCALP?!?!

A WIIIIIGGGGG!!!!!
**slices wig through the ay-yer**


AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
Worse than bills and short dick niggaz who couldn't take the fact that I loved their kindergarten-sized dick asses despite the fact that he couldn't keep it up for a mere 43 seconds ass niggaz:
I.HATE.WIGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These no part havin', sittin' on ya head like a bag of rotten bananas monstrousities must be banned E-MEE-TREE-IT-LEE!
Kanekalon, Drawstring, or Sew-Ins are your ONLY options if you cain't achieve it and have . Nothing More. Nothing Less.
If the shit can be bobby-pinned to ya dome via a stocking cap: FLEEEEEE!!!!!

Why, Lawd?!?! I'm sure that High School Musical 1-151 dough should be rollin' in faster than Nathan Lane into Zach Efron's tanghole ...I'm sure you coulda got Monique a lacefront!!!!!

We DOWN SOUF SWAINGIN', NINJA!!! Pt. 2

Before I can even think about packing for my trip, I need to evaluate my luggage sitcho.

**Evaulated; Results Revealed**

I'm in desperate need of some new luggage, mayne!
This Wal-Mart Route 66 roller bag I borrowed (and never returned) from the ex is NOT the beeswax. That shit is so raggedy it probably wouldn't make it off my porch in tact, let alone to TX and back. And I need something sturdy that can support the numerous pairs of Venezias that I'll pack, but most likely will only wear the tightest, backyard camel-toe producing pair.

So I've been doing more eWindow Shopping for some luggage for my trip next week. Picture me rolling through the airport spo'tin' and totin' the hotness below:

Isn't that seafoam green case just the cutest?
Besides a patterned backpack, I'd also carry something this cute on the plane. I'm trying to carry on as much as possible to avoid that $15 per checked bag fee.
But if I had to check a bag, it would the Dooney & Burke giraffe print rolling case. I already rock a knockoff of the giraffe large hobo, which is just as much style for a fraction of the price, so why not rock some trill shit?

A simple shift dress, big yellow glasses, an armful of colorful bangles, and girly patterned flats complete the simple but chic travel look.
Oh, and a MacBook Air so I could update my SF'ers while I'm on the road. Cuz wouldn't you want to be the first to know about the freak I meet to lick me from my head to my feet?
Yeaaahhhh! I thought so. ;^)

LAAAAHHH-LOLLAPALOOZA

Wait 'til I get my munnay riiight!/Then you cain't tell me nuhthin', riiiighttt?

I'm LUHVIN' Yeezy's look, especially the Kool Moe Dee/Terminator X shades, mayne. Them thangs are hot like fresh biskits or my clit after he licked it!

Kanyeezy, lookin' fresh tah def as always, rocked the HAIL outta the AT&T Stage on the Chicago leg of the Lollapalooza music fest.

His talent is impeccable
His style is delectable
And if given the chance
He'd forget about Alexis, too

They Want Me With My Hands Up!

Shoootaaaa-aaahh-aahhh-ahhhhh!Yeah! Shouts to Lil' Weezy for jumpin' on that track with Robin Thicke and soundin' like a drunken Southern dayum salamander. HOTNESS!

Lil' Kim and gal pals LisaRaye (R) and Angel Lola (L) Luvin' The Way You Tryna Pass That Azz Off As Yours celebrated her tittays' 8th nose's 2nd facelift's 6th birthday this week by throwing back shots at a party at Spotlight Live in the NYC.

The Queen Bee, obviously bustin' the MC Hammer if you were to pan out, looks aw'ight in these flicks; I gotta admit it. She's not lookin' like the usual Choco Crypt Keeper we've grown to loathe over the past 8 or more years.
Too bad nobody's hardly checkin' for her music anymore, though. The only way I'd get down with the Queen again was if she went on a world tour wearing her old short hair (a la Aaliyah's "If Your Girl Only Knew" {0:27 & 0:33 marks}vid) and every outfit from the "Crush On You" {<<--My fave!} vid.
SavvyFatty'ers: You know I love the way you feel-a/Sip my Tequila/Heard from the dealahz/All in chinchillas

I'd Kiss These Girls and I'd Like It!

The Girl I'd Be If I Wasn't Black With Ninja Naps And Didn't Work A Gubmit Job, Kat Von D, was spotted on the red carpet at the X Games Awards held at The Stork, L.A. last Thursday.
I LOVE LOVE! LOVE! Kat's look from head to toe. From the dark onyx high hair, to the 50's rocker pin-up makeup, to the tats, to the kiddie camel toe, she's one of my style idols cuz she ain't afraid to step out the box and rep a different side of beauty.

And look who else was in the building, giving me not as much booty as I'm used to lickin' seeing.
Her sister, Chyna Khloe Kardashian, was also in the house lookin' like a pack of linebackers. Hell, I'll throw her manly ass in the mix, too. She'd probably bang my back out better than ANY thug ninja could.
**gives Khloe 'The Eye'**

We DOWN SOUF SWAINGIN', NINJA!!!

Haha!
Shout out to that lil' elementary schooler from DJ Chuck Teezy's mixtape who is singin' my life with his precocious words!

Me and my girls, aka the Tre Musketeers, are heading to the Great State of Texas next week for a 5 day stint and I. CAIN'T. WAIT!!!
A beezy ain't been on vacation since gas was still a reasonable price! I've been working non-stop like a big, buck, field niggra. But now...it's all coming to an end next Wednesday as me and my girls FLY ROBIN FLY! UP UP IN TO SKY!!!!

So, I don't know what you do, but when me and my girls travel, we like to totally revamp the wardrobe.
Yes, we could have a closet full of shit still chillin' with the tizzags (Nas: That red crotchet crop vest that would have looked super-duper HAUTE paired with a plain wifebeater and khaki bermuda shorts!) and we STILL feel the need to upgrade our swag.

*******
I NEED some new clothes baaaddddllyyy.
Just this morning I swea' fo' Gawd that I peeped a pair of Ellesse parked right under that Karl Kani signature T posted up next to my fresh Torrid ish.

And now since the airlines are charging for checked bags (the HORROR!!) and I know it's gonna be hotter than the devil's arsehole down in the Duddy Souf (that's how it goes!) I'll need lightweight, skin-revealing, pieces that can easily transition from day to night.
So, allow me to do a lil' wishful thinkin' a.k.a. eWindow Shoppin', to show you what I WOULD cop if the budget (<<--of cereal crumbs and jellybeans **tears**) permitted.

First up would be this cutesy little denim jumper straight from the clearance section (YES!) of Torrid that can go from casual days to cosmopolitan nights with just the switch of the shirt and accessories.














During the day it could be easily rocked with a plain white tee,
bulky neck scarf
yellow, geometric-patterned hoops, and bronze, quilted gladiator sandals.

For the Party Life match it with a high-collared ruffle shirt in a light, neutral color. Set the whole look off with a pair of patent leather chap pumps and an ultra-modern updo
.

A bulky, yellow leather purse could be matched with either outfit.
Although a dainty golden clutch would be perfect for that chic evening look.

*******

Peep the other pieces that could find a home in Suitcase SavvyFatty and could be seen rocked around the mean streets (and clubs! and STRIP CLUBS!!!) of Texas.

Red Ruffled Banded Bottom Dress: Cute walking through the mall with silver flip flops. Hotter at night with mustard suede platforms.


Purple Sueded Peep-Toe Ankle Booties: Chic with bermuda shorts or skinny jeans. HAUTE! with a fitted pencil skirt and flirty blouse. (Shouts to my girl Haute for these cutie booties, even though she didn't like them, I think they're BAWSAY!)


Crispy White Ruffle Bodysuit: Ahh! I love nothing more than the romantic feel of a clean-lined ruffle top as they add just the right amount of femme sophistication to any outfit. This particular piece would be perfect with a pair of wide-legged, sailor-inspired jeans and a pair of bold-patterned slingbacks.


Now, if you've enjoyed this post and would LOVE to see your favorite fat girl sizzlin' in San Antonio, lookin' AWESOME! in Austin, or HAUTE in Houston: Gon' ahead and send all donations to 2300 Savvy Street.
Please. And. Thank. You!